tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197597102880101691.post6458868419794720081..comments2024-03-28T17:16:03.754-07:00Comments on Eye on the Edge: A different kind of volunteerDJanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07152183871573797791noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197597102880101691.post-63239217159969678752014-12-21T10:09:54.182-08:002014-12-21T10:09:54.182-08:00I'm a week late on finding this post, but it i...I'm a week late on finding this post, but it is more timely for me today anyway. We attended a very religious funeral service yesterday, for the husband of a long time teacher friend of ours. <br />Afterwards Tom and I talked a little about what we would want and not want, and how hard it will be when one of us leaves first. <br />I am not a religious person, even though I was raised to be a good Christian. I don't believe in an afterlife any more. I believe in living! Tom suggested I would want a big picnic for my send off, and I agreed, but I would have to go in summer so I could gave a garden party.<br />Talking about death is a good thing. Sure, when we are fixed on making this life the best it can be, it's hard to think about our own passing, or that of our loved ones. But death happens to us all eventually.<br />I think your desire to serve as an assistant in this final passage is wonderful. I believe you are the right person to do it. Linda Reederhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07665601809156707572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197597102880101691.post-9205570200612518922014-12-17T02:30:49.641-08:002014-12-17T02:30:49.641-08:00I really appreciate your posts about our mortality...I really appreciate your posts about our mortality. Because today is an anniversary day, and because I've been following Kara Tippetts, and because of my age, I think about death a lot. I'm not sure we can be fully alive if we don't own the truth that we're all dying. I'll look forward to hearing about your work as a doula, and about the cafe experience. Deb Shuckahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03439395710731341021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197597102880101691.post-86572097879282166722014-12-16T21:40:08.471-08:002014-12-16T21:40:08.471-08:00I just heard of the whole Death Cafe movement rece...I just heard of the whole Death Cafe movement recently, and it sounds like a great idea!<br /><br />I've always feared death, being very attached to life and ego and not being the sort to buy into any simplistic religious myths that seem so blatantly wishful thinking. But I'm kinda getting intrigued by the more eastern/Buddhist idea that if you can transcend ego and self and see your energy as not "you" but as an integrated part of everything else... that then "you" never die. But I've got a long way to go before I transcend self! It still seems all to real to me.Crabby McSlackerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12108791388350253344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197597102880101691.post-7116758887439525472014-12-16T10:18:13.623-08:002014-12-16T10:18:13.623-08:00Dear DJan, like the first comment on your posting,...Dear DJan, like the first comment on your posting, I do admire the way you dealt so graciously with the subject of death and death doulas. You are a person who follows a quest to live the fullness of life. And so I am not surprised to discover that you might become a death doula. And I think you would be a fine one because you listen so well--yes your postings reveal this. You listen to nature and to the inward musings of your heart and to the joy and pain others experience. Also, you respect the beliefs of others and so could be of great comfort to anyone getting ready for the journey beyond death. I so look forward to you sharing more about death doulas. Peace.Deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00612299013780771262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197597102880101691.post-60028877297256793262014-12-15T17:45:42.907-08:002014-12-15T17:45:42.907-08:00People avoid talking about death and dying but it ...People avoid talking about death and dying but it is something that will come to us all one day. How wonderful to be able to help others at this time. I think you would be perfect in this role.Jazbrizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07464419679096135056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197597102880101691.post-55603971364501907352014-12-15T14:28:51.853-08:002014-12-15T14:28:51.853-08:00You have found the next adventure, the one that wi...You have found the next adventure, the one that will give your life new dimension. I have absolutely no doubt that you'd be a great death doula, should you choose to. My youngest brother has just entered hospice care. I admire the people who specialize in helping folks at the end of life, and those who love them. Nancy/BLissed-Out Grandmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17223278142557533175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197597102880101691.post-47908135781373293422014-12-15T13:30:45.269-08:002014-12-15T13:30:45.269-08:00Depressing? Not at all. It’s high time that Death ...Depressing? Not at all. It’s high time that Death lost its status as one of the last taboos.<br /><br />We are all going to die. It’s the natural end to life. So many people would rather not know that.<br /><br />Those of us who have had serious illnesses already know how easy it is to slip from one state to the other; you have seen more death in your life than most, so I really think you would be the perfect doula.<br /><br />But that you connect it with the risk taking involved in sky-diving surprised me. Accompanying the dying and bereaved and falling out of the sky seem to me to be diametrically opposed. One celebrates being gloriously alive and the other delves into the mysteries of death.<br /><br />However, I suspect you know what you mean.<br /><br />I look forward to reaading what you have learned.Frikohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04277167831642088694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197597102880101691.post-11900261382696530222014-12-15T05:16:15.351-08:002014-12-15T05:16:15.351-08:00What an interesting post. I did not know you had w...What an interesting post. I did not know you had worked in Hospice. I have had a few experiences with that wonderful organization who helped friends and I think the workers are amazing people who bring not only care to the ill but comfort to the family. You would be highly qualified to be a doula whom it seems takes it just a bit further.<br />I have zero fear of death. My mother called death "life's greatest adventure as we know nothing about it but can only speculate or believe."<br />Please do update us on both the doula and the Cafe. Arkansas Pattihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14156004753267665579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197597102880101691.post-66120391613379585362014-12-15T04:25:33.417-08:002014-12-15T04:25:33.417-08:00I have never heard of death doulas or death cafes....I have never heard of death doulas or death cafes. It would take a special person to take on such a task, and you, I think, would be just that kind of person.Gigihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05467164195744234746noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197597102880101691.post-68469832680544766892014-12-14T21:56:10.481-08:002014-12-14T21:56:10.481-08:00I believe that being there for a person's deat...I believe that being there for a person's death is just as intimate as being there for their birth. Beauty in both. What an honor. I have not heard of a Death Cafe or the death doulas--what wonderful ideas! You will have to let us know what you find out. :) Ritahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02043285884495492598noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197597102880101691.post-59865095979901940852014-12-14T21:22:05.561-08:002014-12-14T21:22:05.561-08:00Hi DJan. The subject of death and how most people...Hi DJan. The subject of death and how most people deal with it has been on my mind quite a bit lately since reading the book "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory'. <br /><br />I found it fascinating and educational. It actually solidified much of what I already felt about how we as a society approach dying, death and the rituals surrounding it. I really think you'd like it. <br /><br />I've heard of death doulas and Death Cafes. Many people find it morbid when I talk about such subjects, but to me death is as much a part of life as birth and the subject shouldn't be avoided. I'm curious to hear about your visit to your local death cafe. O-town Ramblingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12462693501650732288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197597102880101691.post-45241853471411033332014-12-14T20:43:25.855-08:002014-12-14T20:43:25.855-08:00Thoughtful and insightful post!
Lizzy Miles used ...Thoughtful and insightful post!<br /><br />Lizzy Miles used to frequent our blog before she vanished to start the Death Cafe. Do report back. Am curious. Trish and Rob MacGregorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02846270474176860924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197597102880101691.post-59591736617978491572014-12-14T18:05:19.293-08:002014-12-14T18:05:19.293-08:00Very thoughtful. One advantage of experiencing se...Very thoughtful. One advantage of experiencing serious illness is losing your fear of talking about death with your partner. It takes away a lot of the fear, and helps you focus on helping the living. I wish you the best in pursuing this. Haven't heard of anything similar around here.The Furry Gnomehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02485265576983125216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197597102880101691.post-40267392605703035062014-12-14T17:22:58.443-08:002014-12-14T17:22:58.443-08:00My mother stayed here at the end of her life and H...My mother stayed here at the end of her life and Hospice helped us out. I have to tell you . . . it was an experience for me like no other in my entire life. A good experience, even the last moments, when it was just Mom and me, and for all intents and purposes she was already gone.<br />Awesome, and not in the modern hackneyed way.<br /><br />I think I could not do it with anyone else, but it certainly changed my feelings about dying and death. I recommend reading "Final Gifts," written by two Hospice nurses. Much of it was familiar to me, since I didn't lay my hands on it until after her death.Junehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11710135137635433217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197597102880101691.post-16986773854163522942014-12-14T16:20:28.971-08:002014-12-14T16:20:28.971-08:00What a wonderful caring way to offer help to peopl...What a wonderful caring way to offer help to people when they need it. Love it.<br />Keep us posted please...Elephant's Childhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06650565833097914052noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197597102880101691.post-14918944085976994632014-12-14T09:58:04.540-08:002014-12-14T09:58:04.540-08:00Yes, I think it would be wonderful for you to tend...Yes, I think it would be wonderful for you to tend to the dying, it isn't something everyone can do. Some people are scared by death and prefer to not talk about it...some embrace it and are at peace with it. <br />I have no idea how many days or years I have left...it is a mystery to be unveiled. <br />I know I was someplace before I was born...someplace I cannot remember and it is to that place I will return someday. I prefer to call it heaven, it will be heaven for me:)Far Side of Fiftyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07995757632158408442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197597102880101691.post-76085030848145599172014-12-14T07:58:08.463-08:002014-12-14T07:58:08.463-08:00To me, this was a depressing subject. I am not su...To me, this was a depressing subject. I am not sure I would follow your route, DJan. Let's not talk about dying, let's talk about living. Life is for the living. Death will come soon enough.<br />Peace and blessings to all of us.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197597102880101691.post-87840051253934615962014-12-14T07:57:13.057-08:002014-12-14T07:57:13.057-08:00Good Morning DJan. Let me start by commending you ...Good Morning DJan. Let me start by commending you for taking on tough subjects. On Sunday mornings I look forward to seeing what you are going to write about. Today’s topic is really hard and yet you handled it with the special kind of grace that tells me you could, if you wish, become a most appreciated death doula. (People reading this comment without reading your post today will find it ghoulish, but I assure them it’s a compliment.) In the not-to-distant past my spouse and I have lost 3 of our 4 parents. The one remaining has gotten close to death on one occasion that required hospice. What I’ve learned about hospice is that it’s one of the most wonderful and yet under-recognized life services available. Perhaps it is because this is such a difficult time in life that no one wants to talk about it? I don’t have an answer, but I do think that as we go through this evolutionary process (life) we will become more aware of the importance of providing some kindness and structure to our final days. So, I say thanks for today’s thoughts. And also, thank you for all of your comments on my blog. You are a kind person indeed. Wishing you a fine week ahead! JohnJohn's Islandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03618219887687125402noreply@blogger.com