A short update to my new world

I am beginning to get a litle accustomed to being a widow. After having gone through the first few weeks of pretty much grief and disbelief, I am now beginning to realize there is nothing that is going to be the same in my life. My sister Norma Jean came to be with me for a week, which was helpful in a helpless situation. I cannot really function very well, but I thought maybe it would help to try to reach out to my other family, the virtual one which you are a part of. I will try to write in here as I am able.

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Black box with my beloved's remains inside

I received this box from the funeral home, which weighs about eight pounds after cremation. I still don't believe it fully, but I am getting there, slowly. I still awake at night and shout and scream in disbelief. But I am here, and eventually I will be back. I've stopped reading other blogs and feel grateful that I can still feel your love and caring.

'Grim update

 

Taken yesterday

I am thinking that my sweet partner might not make it. This is not what I hoped whould come from this rehab. Even though it's early days, I am not feeling  optimistic. I have been doing some PT on his leg myself, since they don't do any on the weekend there. I will be there today,with no John to share breakfast, since he's got shingles himself. And yes he did all the vaccine, but it didn't keep him from getting it anyway.

I will take an Uber to the rehab center this morning and try to smile and hope for the best. I never have imagined this as the way things might turn out. I appreciate all your prayers and am feeling heartbroken. I know this too will pass, but it's not easy now and will get harder yet, it seems. Sorry to be so down, but I don't feel much hope at the moment.

Sorry to make this so short, but it is difficult to see to write.