I am beginning to get a litle accustomed to being a widow. After having gone through the first few weeks of pretty much grief and disbelief, I am now beginning to realize there is nothing that is going to be the same in my life. My sister Norma Jean came to be with me for a week, which was helpful in a helpless situation. I cannot really function very well, but I thought maybe it would help to try to reach out to my other family, the virtual one which you are a part of. I will try to write in here as I am able.
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| Black box with my beloved's remains inside |
I received this box from the funeral home, which weighs about eight pounds after cremation. I still don't believe it fully, but I am getting there, slowly. I still awake at night and shout and scream in disbelief. But I am here, and eventually I will be back. I've stopped reading other blogs and feel grateful that I can still feel your love and caring.
21 comments:
I have not posted on your site before but have been reading your blogs for years. I find you an inspiration, and it hurts me that you are going through so much pain. Please know you are in my thoughts.
I am here, checking in every day, whether you post anything or not, I am here. Just know that you have a whole lot of people who love you and care about you. Write when you can, and please check your blog because there is a whole cadre out there concerned for you. We will be glad to hear from you but we understand when we don't. Grief is a whole 'nother animal.
DJan, great to hear from you. What an incredibly difficult time for you. It makes my Sunday morning to see your update on Eye. So many of your regular followers have been praying for you and sending comments of support. Suggestion: If you are not going to read other blogs we would love to hear from you in a short reply here. John
We're glad to hear from you DJan, it's an awful, terrible time for sure. Take care of yourself.
DJan, I'm so happy to see a post from you... wasn't expecting it... just hoping. Can't imagine what you're going through, but we are stronger than we think (at least that's what I tell myself). Please try to post when and if you feel you can. We really look forward to hearing from you.
You are suffering loss of both your spouse and your eyesight, so it must be a doubly difficult time for you. I hope you are still able to get out for your breakfasts.
Jan, you are on my mind often these last few weeks. Sending a hug across the continent, my friend. Take care!
It's healthy to write about your feelings. Your life won't be the same; losing a partner means adapting to a whole different world with part of yourself missing. I lost my 59-year-old husband in 2012 and although my life isn't the same, it's still full of loving friends and family.
So good to hear that you are able to write on your blog. Grief is a journey and never the same for anyone. You are in my thoughts and prayers too! Be kind to yourself, you need time to heal and process everything. My sister is a grieving widow also and it is not an easy road to travel.
Happy to see you posting. My thoughts are with you as you learn to live with your beloved partner in a different way. Surreal loss, grief and the loneliness that follows can be all consuming. Take good care of you!
So sorry to read about your loss. I've been reading your blog for a long time but rarely comment, but I want you to know you are on my mind. Hoping for peace for you.
D'Jan, your virtual family is here for you and is grieving right along side you. Know that we are all thinking of you and sending love in this very difficult time.
Just as others have said, we're all thinking of you and are here for you.
You are on a difficult road in this part of your life. I hope you have people with you for support and comfort.
Same here. Reader for years, first time commenting, and also find you to be an inspiration. Take good care of yourself for now. If you are able to blog down the road, your readers will be here.,
I remember pounding on the floor as I sat and screamed and cried. I felt anger, as well as sorrow. So many pages in your life will be turning as you deal with having lost your beloved. You are always in my thoughts as you make the new life for yourself. You will get through this in time. Take good care of your health as grief can actually make you physically ill. Be sure to ask for help from your friends as they don't always know what you need.
Love and hugs.
Love and hugs.
Love and hugs.
I looked for you but I didn't find you on Sunday morning. I'm happy to see you now on Monday morning.
I have often wondered how I would handle that kind of grief. I think we can't know until it happens. Thank you for reaching out to us and sharing a bit of yours. We care for you and want to know.
Please stick around! I am so sorry for your grief and loss. It is a burden beyond measure to lose one's beloved.Thanks for sharing.. one step at a time. You do have a lot of folks out here who care!
I too am a frequent reader of your wonderful, heartfelt blog but rarely commenter. That seems quite selfish as I admit that for I certainly appreciate your writing, your sharing, your outlook. I'm so sorry the stress has taken a toll on your eyesight. I'm extra sorry SG has l left this realm, but I hope he was at peace as much as he appreared to be in your earlier photo. "He fought the good fight" some would say, but I think maybe he chose when to let go - maybe? I think of you often, DJan and feel as if I know you to some degree. May you find peace and comfort in your routines - especialy having coffee and walks with dear friends. We're virtual and supportive out here in the ether but they'll offer the touch of a hand, a hug, words spoken you'll hear aloud that will mean so much. Peace to you, Kim in PA
My heart is with you ~Kim
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