I stepped from Plank to Plank
A slow and cautious way
The Stars about my Head I felt
About my feet the Sea.

I knew not but the next
Would be my final inch -
This gave me that precarious Gait
Some call Experience.

Emily Dickinson, c. 1864

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Another Sunday rolls around

And this one is Oscar night! I almost always turn the TV onto the channel and watch while I'm doing other things. Tonight will be the same. This year, my friend Judy and I have tried to see all the movies and performances and I've got my own ideas of who SHOULD take home the Oscar, but we all know it has little to do with who deserves it. Like everything else, taking home an Oscar has as much to do with politics as anything. I enjoy all the dresses and jewelry, and I imagine that the past weeks of preparation for tonight's gala have people glad that the time has finally arrived.

It seems such a distant and unreal event to me as I sit here in the dark on this Sunday morning. Having read the news of the world, I sometimes wonder what it would be like to wake to the sunrise over Baghdad, or Tehran, or Homs. As terrible as things get in my part of the world, I simply cannot envision what living in the middle of one of these places would be like. The juxtaposition of the news and the Tinsel Town glitter is almost surreal, like something made up for a novel.

Where am I going with this? I don't usually let myself get too involved in politics of any kind, because it tends to make me depressed. I can't change what is happening in the world, although my laptop brings every little piece of it into my consciousness. Actually, that's not true. It brings that part of the world's happenings that the news media thinks I'll be interested in. There are so many things happening everywhere, and we only glimpse a small little portion of it.

My favorite news channel on TV is KBTC Worldview, part of the PBS offerings here on cable. It gives me news in English from Russia, Hong Kong, France, India, Al Jazeera, and much more. It's very interesting to see the world news through the eyes of other country's newscasts. The local news here in Washington state usually brings me nothing but the latest shootings, traffic accidents, floods, and other local disasters. You could get really depressed if that was the only television you watched.

One of the best things about the digital revolution is the sheer volume of information that is available to me at my fingertips. As I pondered what to write about this morning, as nothing earth-shattering is happening in my own life right now, I visited Google a few times, one to grab that picture of the Oscars, and another to look for a picture of pretty gold-glitter shoes. This week I saw a young girl wearing a pair, and they brought back a memory of some shoes I once owned. It's like falling into a whirlpool when I look at a hundred images of glitter. Not to mention that it makes it difficult for me to focus on writing this post.

I've set it up so that the schedule of writing this on Sunday morning feels like a deadline I must meet. Obviously the world wouldn't come to an end if I didn't post this morning, but my own internal world needs structure, whether imposed from within or from without -- so here I sit, thinking about all the many mornings I've sat with my laptop propped up in bed, partner asleep next to me, going inside the interesting corridors of my mind. Who knows what will emerge? I have spent 120 Sundays doing this, and it may not feel like much of a deadline to anyone else, but to me, it's solid.

This particular blog was begun so that I could write about how I got here, to this place in my life. If you were to go back to the first posts, you would see that I journeyed through my life story in chronological order, discussing my early years, marriages, losses, and when I got to the present time, I gave myself permission to write whatever comes into my mind. A few months ago (I went looking and can't find the post), I wondered out loud if it might be time to end this blog but was encouraged by my commenters to allow myself to roam and wander. I remember Whitney reminded me of the words I put in the "Why This Blog" box, to write for myself. You know, that's all well and good, but I am very aware of the fact that this is a PUBLIC blog, the whole blogosphere could read it if they knew about it and cared. It's public, and that restrains me in several ways, not the least of which is that I don't want to offend anyone or embarrass myself. Therefore, when I write I keep in mind the myriad friends and acquaintances I feel I know well: you know who you are.

The blogging world is an amazing development in my life. I follow around a hundred blogs, and most of the authors are like me: they like to write and share a bit of themselves and their lives. It's created something new in the world: a community of bloggers who care about each other. Some have even made an effort to meet in person, and I've done so too. I've talked on the phone, exchanged personal emails, met a few, and I realize that my life would be so much less full and varied without the daily exchange I have with them. Each blog has its own flavor, and some are guaranteed to make me laugh; others to challenge me to think about life in a different way. It's become an integral part of my social calendar.

I see that the sky is beginning to lighten, and I hear the first birds waking and beginning their morning serenades. And another Sunday morning post is almost finished. I feel content and fulfilled.


Teresa Evangeline said...

And a beautiful post it is. You've echoed many of my own thoughts here about the nature of blogging. I've asked myself, Do I want to continue? And realize I would have trouble giving up the friendships that have formed around it. It broadens my world, gives me greater perspective, and softens any edges that might attempt to form.

OOh, all that glitz and glamor, I wouldn't miss it. Would you believe, when I didn't have a television (for actually viewing television), a friend and I would check into a motel for the night, bring special treats to eat, and watch the Oscars. It was fun. I'll be watching "with" you.

Sally Wessely said...

Good morning. Blogging does challenge us, and it causes us to question why we do it. I admire your tenacity in so many areas, but perhaps it is Sunday post on Eye on the Edge that I most admire. You come through every Sunday with a thought provoking post. I don't know how you do it. I do hope you continue to do so. On the other hand, when blogging bogs us down, we should allow ourselves a break.

Friko said...

I like your Sunday morning thoughts; they are genuine and direct, intimate and friendly, I feel as if we were sitting around a table being open and warm with each other.

I know that we there are subjects we cannot discuss freely in this medium and that there are thoughts we had better keep to ourselves; but your ramble through the drawers of your mind always comes across as an honest effort to let us into your world.

As for the Oscars, can't stand all that lovey-ing, the phoney tears and pre-moulded acceptance speeches.

Anonymous said...

Since I never watch movies, I won't be watching the Oscars tonight. But, David, who watches 2 movies a week, will watch the show. He wants The Descendants to win.

Re: Blogging. Today, three bloggers and their significant others will be coming over for lunch: Kay (and her husband, Art), Hattie (and her husband, Terry), and Hank (and his son, Chip). I'll make sure the food is good (or at least edible, Lol), and that everyone has a great time!

Judy Cosgrove said...

I know I don't comment often, Jan, but I do enjoy reading your blogs. I sure hope you don't give it up. If you truly do have Alzheimer's , think how interesting your posts will become!!!!LOL! Not to worry, I see no signs.

Rubye Jack said...

Each Sunday when I begin to read blogs, I always think DJan will be here today and this makes me happy. I haven't had any ideas myself for posting but regardless, I still enjoy keeping up with everyone else. It means a lot to me and I like your consistency.

As for the Oscars, I love them and can't wait for this evening! Mostly, it's the fashion and interviews along the red carpet that make me happy. Easily pleased I am.

#1Nana said...

I admire that you made a schedule and stick to it. You are a good role model for me as I am still working on developing that perseverance.
I bought my granddaughter gold glittery shoes the last time I was there. "I love my shoes," she said "they're bootiful!" And she sat on the sofa with her feet stuck out, turning her feet one way and then the other to admire them. What is life without a little glitz and glamor?

CrazyCris said...

I've got Oscars on my mind too! You're lucky enough to be in the perfect time zone to watch them... I think I've only seen the show 3-4 times since I moved to Europe in '95. *snif*

Your mention of the local news reminds me of how unpleasantly surprised my mom was when we lived in the States about how UN-informative the newscasts were! 30' of local news (accidents, shootings, cat up a tree...), then 30' national news, and little to nothing international. Like the rest of the world didn't exist! I think this phenomenon is part of the reason people in the US are rather insular, not very aware of what's happening in the rest of the world and how it can affect them. You actually have to already be curious enough to go looking for that extra information on cable news, the internet... sad!

I love your Sunday ramblings, keep them up! :o)

Red said...

I like the way you ramble on with this post. Like most posts. But you do connect everything in the end. I always look forward to this Sunday post. It's a rather calm look at some important issues in our world. However, it's like my retirement . There came a time when I was ready to go. You have to decide that for yourself. But remember one thing...many readers would miss you including this one.

Grandmother Mary said...

Alas, the Oscars begin at 11:00PM for me so I won't be watching. But I check into your blog and find companionship that's important to me. Thanks and let's keep sharing our lives. I'm convinced it matters.

Nancy/BLissed-Out Grandma said...

So glad you mentioned the Oscars...I thought I was alone in my "dirty little secret" of watching them. Your Sunday posts are wonderful, and I can't imagine that you'll run out of thoughts any time soon. Hope not, anyway!

June said...

A good thoughtful ramble is a welcome thing, and the thought of multiple photos of gold-glittery shoes nearly makes me swoon!
Sunshine and a Sunday morning brought me a little way back to life today . . . glad I came over to visit.

Gigi said...

I won't be watching the Oscars - although I do love the glamour associated with the fashions. I don't "do" award shows - for some reason they bore me....maybe because I don't watch that many movies.

I love Sundays for many reasons - but one of the big ones is knowing that you will be posting. Your posts sometimes make me laugh, sometimes cry but always, always they make me think.

Now, I'm off to google some pretty, glittery shoes. ;-)

Sandi said...

I can imagine that these Sunday morning posts can at times be difficult to get started. You are so good about being diligent and I personally enjoy the rambling a bit. I truly look forward to the Sunday posts (although I love the hiking adventures as well) and would wonder if you were well if a Sunday came and you weren't here!

I admire your tenacity, as I always have a willingness, but run out of time to get a post out much more than once a week. I often have a couple drafts, but then the pile up without being "finished" before I post something altogether different!

I'm hoping that with retirement, I'll be more willing to allow myself the luxury to sit through a movie. I love going, once I get there and am settled, but getting to the movies is hard for me. There's always something that seems so pressing that needs to get done!

You're a trooper, DJan, and I'm glad you are!

Arkansas Patti said...

I do hope you don't stop your Sunday postings. I can always count on an interesting, thought provoking post that will slightly make me feel like a slacker when I read about your active life.
You encourage me get moving.

Dee Ready said...

Dear DJan,
Once again, you have started with some small aspect of your life--watching the Oscars and moved outward to embrace the life of all the bloggers who read your postings. That's a gift you have. A gift you share each Sunday with us. Going from the periphery to the center of a thought. Gently taking us along on a philosophical journey to meaning. Thank you.


Trish said...

You're a gem. Please don't stop writing this blog. Your words are a delight and a joy.

Far Side of Fifty said...

I thought about you since it was Oscar night and all..we don't get an ABC station and I could have watched it on the Net..but I watched the Amazing Race and the Donald instead. I saw the dresses this morning..Gwyneth Paltrow gown and cape or whatever was stunning..simple but stunning:)

CiCi said...

I notice that about you, your own expectations. Interesting to read you say you have a schedule for when you write posts for each blog. The fact that you know yourself well enough to keep to a schedule and yet you always write interesting posts says a lot for your experiences and your talent. Not everyone can write interesting posts about their thoughts but you sure can.

Kathryn said...

I'm kind of neutral on the Oscars - I'll watch them accidentally, but not on purpose. Watching the highlights on the news the next day is enough. I look forward to your reflective Sunday posts, and always read them on purpose!

Rita said...

I recorded them. I thought of you when a couple of the awards were announced--(like Meryl)--LOL! When I record them I can FF through commercials, boring acceptance speeches, people walking up to accept--and it shortens the 3 hours greatly. I still get to see the skits and I liked the various interviewed remarks they had this year. I did think of you while I watched, though. ;)

I wonder whether I should continue blogging sometimes, too. But it is the friendships that keep me going. When I thought I might lose my blog recently...my goodness! I was surprised at how bereft I was. My blog family means more to me than I even thought it did! Don't quit, lady!!!! :)

The Retired One said...

I know what you mean about losing freedom of writing what you would really like to write...sometimes I feel I could start an anonymous blog but with the technology abound now, it would find its way to my identity and that alone would inhibit what I would want to pen. But we all thank you for sharing your poignant stories of your life experiences with us!

Nancy said...

You have a very interesting mind, and I for one, love following along. Blogging for me has been much the same. A connection. But I've found that after over 700 posts I now cannot take in enough information from so many different places that reading my favorite blogs have taken a back seat. I know I will come back. Like you, I learn so much from my favorite bloggers - including you.