The river of time

Mama and me

I was the firstborn of my mother's seven children, the one who made her a mother so long ago. This picture was taken by my dad three-quarters of a century in the past. It has so many different triggers for me when I look at it: my mother was a beauty and a proud mom. She also loved me unconditionally, which is also evident in the picture. That tiny little baby is now sitting in the bedroom with her laptop, writing her usual Sunday post on Mother's Day 2019. I was born in December 1942, so this moment captured on film had to be in 1943, actually 76 years ago now. My, oh my.

Mama has been gone from the planet since 1993. She died when she was 69, almost making it to the proverbial threescore and ten that many feel is what a normal lifespan covers. From the moment in that picture, she went on to have my sister Norma Jean two years later, and then my sister PJ was born when I was seven. For the longest time, that was the family makeup. Then in the mid-1950s, my parents decided to extend their family and Mama gave birth to my brother when I was sixteen, then had three more daughters. One infant was born prematurely, Tina Maria, and only lived for a few days. Mama and Daddy then added my youngest sisters, Markee and Fia, to the family. Fia is almost exactly twenty years younger than me, so for all those years, my parents were actively making new babies and creating a wonderful home for us all.

I was actually gone from home and had become a mother myself before the last two came along: my son Chris was born in 1961, the same year as Markee (her name is really Mary Katherine, but I have always called her that). Fia, the baby, joined the family in late 1962. Since my dad was in the Air Force, we moved around a lot when I was growing up, but then when he retired, they bought a home on the lake in Fort Worth. This meant that the last three kids were not spending their formative years moving from place to place, but having a much more normal life than the three of us, the earlier family, did. I went to three different high schools before graduating from Arlington Heights High School in Fort Worth. They started and finished school in the same town.

Consequently, we had much different experiences of our early years. I would come back to visit, because wherever my mother was, that was home to me. Their home on the lake had a dock where my younger siblings learned to swim and spent the entire summer months seeming more like little otters than children. I was a little jealous of the different way they were raised, but I never felt less loved and appreciated by my parents.

All six of Mama's children have been very successful and productive in the world. Today, both Norma Jean and I have retired from our jobs and PJ died at the age of 63, of heart disease, which is what took Mama away from us, too. It runs in the family and is one reason why I exercise so faithfully. Buz lives in Arlington, Texas, with his wife Phyllis. Markee married Bob, a Canadian, and made her home there. Fia, my baby sister, lives in Texas, too, and is happily married to Russ. It's hard for me to believe, but she is a grandmother many times over. The youngest three are still in their working years but not for much longer, I suspect. Buz recently turned sixty! Yikes.

So that is the background of my family life. My dear husband and I have made a life for ourselves in retirement and (if you read this weekly) you know we just celebrated our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. When you get married in your fifties, that is an accomplishment. I never thought we'd see the day, but we did and are now looking forward to the next decade or two of life in our twilight years. It sure is nice to have him in my life.

My sister-in-law, SG's only living relative, is in town for a couple of weeks. Since we have no room to accommodate overnight guests, she is staying in an airbnb in Fairhaven. I'll visit her this afternoon to see how things are going for her. She is a recent widow (well, a few years back) and is trying to find her own place in the world. She visited us last year and loved Fairhaven, so now she can explore it to her heart's content. I'll find out what she wants my help with, and she will of course be spending plenty of time with her brother. They were not close during her married life, but now things are changing.

Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of your life!

The river of time. It not only flows through our days, but the imperceptible changes, the inevitable movement of time, changes our bodies, too. That tiny little baby in the picture is now a wrinkled old woman, and Mama is, well, somewhere else. Who knows if we have an afterlife or not? Nobody has ever managed to tell us in no uncertain terms. I live my life as if I will have one, because why not? I won't know what happens after I die until I've gone through the veil, and all I know for certain is that I will one day lie down and not get up again.

In the meantime, I plan to enjoy every moment of my life, running my fingers through the icy waters of the river and marveling at the beauty all around me. Gratitude for it all flows out of me and gives me unparalleled joy. The world I live in includes memories of all those people I have loved who are no longer with me, today especially thinking of my mother and how much love passed between us. The love of a mother for her child, and the child for her mother, lives on inside my heart. Thank you, Mama, for the gift of my life.

And with that, I leave you with my sincere hope that you will find some joy in your interactions today. I am grateful for you, my electronic buddies, and the life we share together. You give me so much, and I hope I give you a little happiness back. Until we meet again next week, be well.