Finding a way to happiness

Walking into the mist

Is it possible to develop a stress disorder without ever having been exposed to direct violence? Sometimes I wonder if I have it. Every single loud noise at the gym or on the street makes me jump, tense up, and sometimes even emit a scream. I don't trust cars to stop for me when crossing the street, even in a crosswalk with proper lights and signals. I have become rather skittish when out in public. Perhaps my sister has it right: she avoids the news and doesn't watch anything on TV that tells about current events. Yesterday's news about two separate mass shootings has put me on edge. (Sorry, Norma Jean. I won't say anything more about them.)

Current events, especially gun violence, have shaken me to the core. When did all this start? I don't remember growing up afraid of people with guns on the street. It is definitely a growing problem, but I don't understand why. Of course I looked it up on google and found an article on Vox, written last month:

Gun violence in the US is often talked about as if it’s a single problem. But it’s really at least four different ones: suicides, urban gun violence, domestic violence, and mass shootings. Suicides are the majority of the nearly 40,000 gun deaths in the US in 2017. But urban violence is the second biggest category, making up a majority of the 14,000 gun homicides that same year.

 It's not just me, of course, who is upset about the proliferation of guns and the men who like to have them around. And it's usually men, it seems to me, that buy multiple guns and sometimes shoot up people in random settings. Why? Most of the time they die, too: are they suicidal and want to take people along with them when they die? I just don't understand it.

I remember the first time I saw a gun. I was maybe nine or ten years old, and my father, who was in the Air Force, had returned from a temporary duty assignment. He placed his gun on the top of the refrigerator, and my sister and I decided to get a couple of chairs to climb up and take a look at it. We didn't touch it, but I remember it was a handgun and looked very scary to my young eyes.

I was an adult and a young mother when President Kennedy was assassinated in 1963. Five years later, I remember Martin Luther King's death. They were both felled by guns. These days, I wonder what these two men would think of what is going on in this country right now.

Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction. —Martin Luther King, Jr.

Well, that quote from King pretty much sums it up, to me at least. Hate is busy multiplying in our country, as he says, "adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars." He does, however, give us a solution: love. As hard as it is for me to figure out how to do that, I know I can.

I can start where I wake this morning: by taking stock of all the wonderful parts of the surrounding world, including my country, my home town, my loved ones. Concentrating on finding love all around me is the only way forward, as I see it. Rather than concentrating on what scares me, I can look beyond to that which makes me smile, laugh, and gives me hope for the future.

Not everyone has the ability to find peace and happiness in their surroundings. Some of us live in desperate circumstances, but that is not me, not today at least. I see small acts of kindness around me every day. Why, I even practice them myself. Kindness feels good, too, both offering it to others and receiving it as well.

The choice is mine to make: concentrate on what I can offer to the world around me that will add joy and love, or let myself get pulled into the morass of hate. Nope, I won't do that, and I sincerely ask my readers to consider just one act of kindness that you might add to your world today. Each spark of loving kindness adds to the flame of happiness. Just writing those words feels good, and I know we are up to the challenge.

So, today I will make every attempt to make my world a better place. First, I'll start by finishing this post and getting myself ready to go out into the bright sunshiny day. Maybe I'll be able to finally spend some time in my garden, since my back is so much better, and pull out weeds and give the plants and flowers some room to spread out a little. I hope you will also find something that will add positive thoughts to your own small universe. I'll do the same, and we will have already made a positive difference in the world.

My dear partner still sleeps next to me; my tea is gone. Until we meet again next week, I hope you will find much to smile and laugh about, and that you will be well. I wish you all good things.