I stepped from Plank to Plank
A slow and cautious way
The Stars about my Head I felt
About my feet the Sea.

I knew not but the next
Would be my final inch -
This gave me that precarious Gait
Some call Experience.

Emily Dickinson, c. 1864

Sunday, July 26, 2020

Don't worry, be happy

Mama with her two girls
This lovely picture was taken in a studio long, long ago. How long? Well, the sweet blond toddler in front celebrated (if that is the correct word) her 75th birthday yesterday. Yes, my baby sister Norma Jean is that old, and I am even older. Mama, however, never even made it to seventy before she died. She and Daddy gave birth to a total of seven children, and she was a beautiful and accomplished mother to us. I feel fortunate to have been the firstborn and have nothing but happy memories of my childhood. That is not to say it was all perfect and without difficulties, but in retrospect, we were happy.

I finished reading Mary Trump's book about her own childhood and the dysfunctional family that created, as she says in her title: The World's Most Dangerous Man. That man is our president, and when I compare the way I was raised with the picture she paints, I can only be grateful for the love and relative harmony that surrounded me as I grew up. It's not a long book, but it's filled with descriptions of situations I shudder to consider having lived through. She, Mary, became a clinical psychologist to attempt to understand how her family dynamic affected them all. There is nothing uplifting or hopeful in the entire book, so I hesitate to recommend it to anybody. These days, we need to focus on the positive aspects that remain in our lives, as we navigate our way through this awful period in history.

And there are many, even though I never expected to live through a pandemic, a period of economic strife, and of political unrest the likes of which grow with every passing day. We are five months into this changed world. Much of my family lives in two states that are surging with Covid-19, Florida and Texas. Every day I read the news and wonder when we will make it to the other side of this. Not soon, I'm afraid. Perhaps a vaccine will be created by the end of the year, and we can make our way back to whatever our new normal will be. Right now it's just not normal.

Here in Washington state, we are doing relatively well. My county is in what is called "Phase 2" of the reopening plan, and we still are not meeting all the requirements necessary to move on. I think that's okay, since most of my county's residents are following the rules. Yesterday I went to the Farmers' Market and for a nice six-mile walk, and all the people I saw were masked as we enjoyed the sunshine and cool temperatures. Even outside on the boulevard, almost everyone wore a mask. Hand sanitizer is plentiful now, and although most public bathrooms are closed, there are a few that are well maintained and feel safe to use.
Don't worry, be happy
In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy

Ain't got no place to lay your head
Somebody came and took your bed
Don't worry, be happy
The landlord say your rent is late
He may have to litigate
Don't worry, be happy —Bobby McFerrin
Our governor has just extended the moratorium on evictions until the middle of October, meaning that landlords will not be able to evict people because of late or missing rent payments until then. Although it's not much, it's a help for the thousands of people in our state who are out of work. I feel very fortunate to be old and on Social Security, and I know that even if the worst happens, I'll be able to pay my rent and have enough money to buy food. I see so many homeless people these days, and my heart goes out to them. I simply cannot imagine what it must be like. I've always had a home and have never gone hungry except by choice.

Norma Jean and I were so fortunate, but we never knew it at the time. We were just kids who had parents who took care of us, and although we moved often, as my father was in the Air Force, it never seemed unusual. Mama always made a home for us, no matter how often we moved. When Daddy was TDY (on temporary duty), the dinners she fixed for us were much less fancy, but they were nutritious and reliable. I have never minded eating the same menu for days at a time, and I wonder if that's why. Some people need lots of variety, but I am not one of them. We were always secure in the love that surrounded us as we grew up, no matter where we lived. I realize now how fortunate we were.

I have so many memories of the two of us, Norma Jean and me, in our formative years, playing happily together. I am two-and-a-half years older, so I got to be the big sister and learned to be a bit of a brat. I did torment my sister now and then, but she was no shrinking violet when it came to getting even. We made each other better and stronger people, and we still have a close relationship, even if now it's virtual rather than physical.

If we lived close, I'm sure we would still be doing things together, and we have a gentle rivalry with each other about how much exercise we get each day. Since the pandemic, I've gotten much less exercise but try every day to get at least a short walk in. It's important to my mental health as much as anything else. And having so many green, lush parks around me, I have no excuse not to get outside a little.

And I am also very lucky to have a dear partner to share my life with, someone who takes such good care of me. I forget to notice so many things he accomplishes, because he never makes a production out of all the cooking and cleaning that he does. I keep thinking I will, but I've never been much of a housekeeper. Lucky for me that I married someone who is.

The world I share with you, my virtual friends, is also a blessing that I never expected to find, and without it I would be much less content and happy. I follow almost a hundred blogs, and fortunately not everyone writes every day or I couldn't keep up, and I write here every Sunday morning as my contribution to the virtual community. It's important, and I look forward to your comments, even when I know I've not written something wonderful or uplifting. In these trying times, I do attempt to find a reason to look forward to better times ahead. And since we know that nothing stays the same, I am determined to see the positive aspects we share. One of them is the ability to talk to one another like this.

And so, with that, I will wind up this post and start the rest of my day. After a quick shower and my daily exercises, I'll head to the coffee shop, where John and I will get coffee and put out our lawn chairs in the median outside and enjoy some conversation and company. We don't stay nearly as long as we once did, since there are no bathrooms close by and the ones in the coffee shop are closed. But it's still enjoyable and a nice break in the day.

I do hope you will find some way to be happy and not worry. After all, we are still ambulatory and, as they say, still on this side of the grass. We have found each other, and many of us are fortunate to have this virtual community to visit now and then. Until we meet again next week, I wish you all good things, dear readers.

20 comments:

ApacheDug said...

My gosh, what a great photograph of you, Norma Jean & your beautiful mom DJan. I could easily see that as an ad in some 1950 magazine like Redbook or Good Housekeeping. Anyway, a belated Happy Birthday to your sister in curls, do you two share the same interests, hiking & skydiving? I have 3 sisters who couldn’t be more different.

I very much enjoyed this week’s posting, in fact I plan to read it again as soon as I finish this. Interesting that you read Mary Trump’s book, in fact I’m surprised it became such a bestseller. I admit I’m a little curious myself, but at the same time I’ve had more than my fill of that man & his family. I often feel like Guinan (Whoopi Goldberg) from the TNG episode ‘Yesterday’s Enterprise’. “This isn’t right, this isn’t how things are supposed to be...” (You being a big Star Trek fan, I’m sure you get that.)

I could just go on & on here, but I’m anxious to read your piece again, you’re a very good writer. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here, and your honesty, and that sweet memory at the top. I hope your week ahead is a happy one.

gigi-hawaii said...

I can't imagine following almost 100 blogs. Wow! That's a lot of reading and commenting. I am glad you follow mine.

You had a much happier childhood than mine, but I would not want to write a book like Mary Trump's. That's being mean and vindictive.

Anyway, happy birthday to Norma Jean. Aloha from Hawaii.

Marie Smith said...

Happy 75th to your sister.

I don’t know how many blogs I follow but it isn’t 100. That’s a lot. I’ve found some in different parts of the world recently, places I am unfamiliar with. It is a wonderful way to learn about people and cultures I didn’t known about. People have the same dreams and wishes everywhere.

Here we are active, walking the trails and boardwalks. We have contact with our daughter and the kids but no one else within 6 feet. School will open if things continue as they are, with modifications of course. I pray this changed world is not the one the children must continue to live with through their lives.

Elephant's Child said...

And a very happy (belated) birthday to your sister.
Like you I am grateful that the blogs I follow don't post every day (there are 300 of them).
Thank you for the beautiful photo - and the 'chat' with you I look forward to each week.
Stay well, safe and happy.

Rian said...

"Don't worry, be happy" - good feeling song! I was lucky too, DJan - having been brought up in a loving family with good parents and an older brother and sister (both of whom I adored). The old TV show "Father knows Best" fit our life pretty well back then. We weren't rich but we weren't poor - as far as I knew, life was good.

And here we are living through a global pandemic. Who would have thought? (although apparently it was foretold) Like you, I wonder how long it will be this way. Something tells me that even if we get through this, life will not be the same as we are now very much aware of the possibility of another at another time. So I too am very happy to have my online friends to share these times with. It helps to know that we are all in this together.

Arkansas Patti said...

A belated Happy Birthday to Norma Jean. Were all your siblings cookie cutter in looks like you two?
Kind of feel badly for Donald's upbringing but not enough to give him a pass. Lots of people have a rough start but can still be decent people.
That was a nice shout out to your hubby. If he reads your blog I'm sure he appreciated the printed thanks.

Gigi said...

Thank you for the reminder to be thankful for a cooking husband...even if he is getting on my last nerve at the moment. ;-) He's a real blessing to me in so many ways.

Happy birthday to your dear sister. I adore that picture of you, your sister and mom.

Like you, I am so grateful for this virtual world that binds so many of us.

John's Island said...

"We have found each other, and many of us are fortunate to have this virtual community to visit now and then." You said it perfectly. I look forward to every Eye on the Edge. Thank you for sharing some of your time with us. Have a happy week ahead.

Anvilcloud said...

What?! One handed blogs?!
I can’t fathom how anyone could possibly do that.
I’m not even sure if I have 10 active bloggers on my roll.

Red said...

Nice song to choose. It's mellow and low key. Yes, I'm afraid that many people are not very happy. I don't think things had to be this bad. Here, they are talking about opening school as usual. Big mistake. Kids are all touchy and contact each other all the time.

Far Side of Fifty said...

What a great old photo! Happy 75th to Norma Jean!
You sound calmer...more accepting of the Isolation and all this Pandemic stuff.
It is hard...we have to make the best of each day.
Stay safe, cool and have a great week!

Trish MacGregor said...

Beautiful photo! Sounds like Washington state is doing a lot better than Florida!

Rita said...

Happy birthday to your little sis!
I have always loved that song from the moment I heard it...just like Happy by Pharrell Williams. Thanks for that reminder. ;)

Linda Myers said...

You were fortunate to grow up in a happy family. I'm thinking about half of all people do, and the other half don't. My family never lacked for the material needs of life, but the emotional environment was quite lacking.

I have walked so little recently that I'm concerned I will have forgotten how. I ride my bicycle every morning at 6 or 7 a.m., and by the time I get home it's too hot to do much of anything else outside for the rest of the day. I guess I've chosen the bike over the walk. I ride with a close friend so I have that social contact to be my anchor.

Friko said...

I don’t know how you can continue, week after week, Sunday after Sunday, to remain so inspirational, so warm and kind, so thankful for what you have. I love what you write.
Maybe I am just too grumpy and unappreciative but I would really like to be able to slip into your mindset.

William Kendall said...

My area is currently in what we're calling Stage 3 for easing of restrictions.

Dee said...

Dear DJan, thank you. Your gratitude prompts mine. Peace.

Jackie said...

July 31, 2020
You know I’m going to drop in on one of my favorite blogs....and sit a spell.
Thinking of you and Norma Jean and John. My prayer is that you all stay safe as we all see our way through this Covid-19 tragedy. We have family in Spain who are still in Phase 1. This virus has caused havoc around the world.
We here in Georgia are pretty much “free” to do what we know is best for our health and others. Husband and I are still staying self-quarantined even though we don’t have to. We have common sense. We know better than to mingle with crowds or to be around others who do. But, our state is pretty much open. Schools will be starting back in a few weeks. I think that a lot of parents will be doing on-line schooling, but they do have the option of public schools as Georgia’s schools will be opening back up (with safety precautions.)
I have loved coming to your blog ever since I first discovered it. I admit that I don’t check in as often as I did or should. So much in my life has changed, but I enjoy coming here and reading your words. You have a gentle “voice”....and I know you have a kind heart. May your sister continue to stay well. May you and John stay well. Your bonds are sweet ones.
I send you much love from Georgia to Washington. We are miles and miles apart but are Americans who care about our fellow human beings.
Love,
Jackie

Margaret said...

Great post about being thankful and recognizing our blessings. Like you I have/had a wonderful family. However, I haven't been doing a very good job of finding joy lately. Thank you for sharing.

Hels said...

I feel so sorry for Mary Trump. If she told the truth about her hideous family to her grave, the nation (and world) would never forgive her. If she went ahead with the publication of her book, she risked being excluded and rubbished by every family member for the rest of her life. What would you have done if it was your family, DJan?