I stepped from Plank to Plank
A slow and cautious way
The Stars about my Head I felt
About my feet the Sea.

I knew not but the next
Would be my final inch -
This gave me that precarious Gait
Some call Experience.

Emily Dickinson, c. 1864

Sunday, August 23, 2020

Two weeks later

Dahlias
It's been two weeks since my hubby had his stroke, and what an amazing recovery I've been able to see him progress through. From being unable to talk at all, a very weak left side and unsteady gait, to what seems to be an almost complete recovery, all in two weeks. He's not really completely recovered, of course, but considering what might have been, it fills me with joy to be able to write this.

And there are many positive side effects to his stroke, believe it or not. The first and foremost is the obvious reminder of the fragility and brevity of our lives, and the admonition to make the most of each and every day, and to give thanks for each other. I have been reminded that my life would be very different without him, and without his ability to transcend this setback. Or is it even a setback?
What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise for which we are later, in the fullness of time and understanding, very grateful for! —Oscar Wilde
Sometimes we need something to give us a reason to get out of the rut of everyday life and clear out the cobwebs, so that we can accomplish whatever it is we want yet to achieve during our brief sojourn on this planet. Because of his stroke, I know that I am no longer living each day in complacency, thinking that I've got all the time in the world. Even though in this country we are still in the grip of the coronavirus, every day counts and needs to be spent in the best possible way. We won't travel this path again, and who knows what the future holds?

Yesterday I joined my friends Melanie and Dianne (and the very delightful dog Joe) for a lovely walk in Hovander Homestead Park in nearby Ferndale. From that link:
The park has been preserved to show the lives of 20th-century pioneers in the Northwest, as well as to preserve the history of the Hovander family. Hovander Homestead Park was added to the National Register of Historic Places in 1974. 
I am amazed that I have only recently learned of this park, and the wonderful trails it provides for people and their dogs to enjoy. It is located on the Nooksack River and the old farmhouse and barn are also open (during non-pandemic times, at least) to the public for tours. We enjoyed a wonderful walk in the sunshine, with Joe bounding through the open spaces, some that allow for dogs to be off leash, and others that require them. 

There is also a demonstration garden that shows all the different plants that grow in the area, which includes a beautiful dahlia garden, where I took the picture at the top of this post. There is also a section that labels and identifies all the different plants that you might encounter in the nearby wilderness areas. We spent our morning enjoying being out and covering more than five miles in our wanderings. At one point, Joe and several other dogs took a dip in the Nooksack River at a boat launch. All the dogs were well behaved and looked like they were enjoying the day as much as we were.

I was gone from home for about four hours, and as usual when I come home these days, I worried a little about how SG was doing, but he's someone who likes to be independent and doesn't appreciate me being oversolicitous. And what did I find? He'd been busy all morning, taking out the trash, puttering around the kitchen, and getting in steps. He got more steps yesterday than I did, and I was outdoors walking! He was happy to see me, and I realized my fears were totally unfounded. He's going to be completely back to normal in another few weeks.

It will be a while before he attempts to drive, but he will be cautious and will do it safely, and in the meantime, I can continue to do any and all grocery shopping that we require. From where we were two weeks ago when this all happened, we have moved from me being the caregiver, to him back to taking care of me! As I write this, he's sleeping quietly next to me, and I'm sure that the clacking of the keys gives him a sense of normalcy, too. He's listened subliminally to that sound every Sunday morning now for more than a decade.

When we got together more than a quarter-century ago, when skydiving was the center of both of our lives, I never could have imagined who we would become in our later years. Although we still share stories with each other about those days, the people we have become in our late seventies is even more precious and meaningful to me than I would ever have thought possible. The scare of his stroke has reminded me once again how much I love and depend on him, and how much his sense of humor and way of living his life enriches my days and weeks and years. I am overflowing with gratitude for all my blessings, and I truly hope that we will have many more days and weeks and years together.

And with that, I've finished my Sunday morning post, and it's time to go out into the day with a renewed sense of the unfinished business of my own life, a trip to the coffee shop to sit outside in the sunshine with my friends in our lawn chairs, laugh together and look forward to more days of friendship and joy. Dear friends of my heart, you dear friends of the internet, please don't forget to give thanks for today, with all it brings to you. Today will only come along once. Until we meet again next week, I wish you all good things.

23 comments:

gigi-hawaii said...

This post brought tears to my eyes. Thank you.

Linda Reeder said...

I am so happy to hear that your husband is doing so well. That was a big scare, and also an awakening.
I need this reminder to make the most of each day. I have been so restricted in what I can do during my slow recovery that I have been wishing the hours away each day, wondering how to fill them. I don't like that feeling. As I get stronger, and able to do more, I am finding more purpose for my days. Today we will go for a walk together and I will use Map My Walk to record my first mile since surgery. Then we will go into the city to have take out lunch with our son Jake. This evening we finally get to watch our Sounders play a shortened season soccer match.
This week I'll keep up my walking, I have an appointment with my surgeon to check on my healing progress, and we will watch and see what the Republicans have to say at their "convention". We like to get our news first hand when we can, but it may require fortitude on our part.
The weather will be mild, there are flowers to pick, and crops to harvest and meals to plan around fresh fruits and vegetables. I will lift my head, straighten my back as best I can, and press on, looking less inward and more outward.
Thanks for this post.

Sheila said...

That was a beautiful post and a wonderful reminder to live each day to the fullest.

Marty said...

If ever there was a time to appreciate what we have, it is now. Life feels so wasteful at the moment as our hours and days run together and we have so little to show for it. What better time to see our life at its essence, with few outside distractions.
I'm so glad SG is making such a solid recovery. What a terrifying thing to go through.

Trish MacGregor said...

So glad he's improving!

John's Island said...

Somehow I missed last week's post so did not know until this morning what you've been going through with SG. Thank goodness he is doing well and getting back to normal. I'm putting both of you on my prayer list. Wishing you both a better week ahead!

Arkansas Patti said...

Splendid news that SG is doing so well. He did more steps than you?? Way to go SG. Yes, you are so right. Sometimes it takes something as drastic as what you have been through to make us appreciate what we have gotten comfortable with. You two are so perfect for each other.

Gigi said...

I am so thankful that he is recovering so well!

Galen Pearl said...

So glad for the good news! And another lovely Sunday post.

Elephant's Child said...

Dear DJan, I am thrilled and humbled to read this beautiful post this morning. Thrilled that SmartGuy is doing so well, and humbled by the reminders encapsulated here.
Many, many thanks.

Rian said...

DJan, I'm so happy to hear that your hubby is doing so well in his recovery. You are blessed. Things like this really make you realize what is important in your life. And to have this happen during the pandemic is a double whammy. But you both seem to be fairing well. I will continue to pray for you both. Take care, and stay safe... and thanks for the update!

Red said...

Good to hear that SG is making good progress. It's a life altering change. And a challenge.

Far Side of Fifty said...

I am thrilled to hear that his recovery is going so well! Yeah Smart Guy!! He is a trooper.
Over here we try to make the best of each day also...never know about tomorrow. If you get a chance go to my facebook page and show Smart Guy the video I shared there...it is a hoot and we all need more laughter! Take Care my friend! You should go back to that lovely place to walk...that Dahlia is a beauty!

Anvilcloud said...

What an uplifting and positive post . You seem to be so pleased and content with each ther and that is a beautiful thing. I am gla that he is doing so well after the scare.

Rita said...

So very happy to hear that he is doing so much better!
Yes, life is short. Enjoy every moment! :)

Marie Smith said...

Such great news Jan. I am happy for you both.🙂

Margaret said...

It is so important to recognize, as I did quite a while ago, that we're not going to get this time back. In spite of restrictions and fears of the virus, we have to make some kind of lives for ourselves. I'm glad that your husband is improving so much and that you are both able to enjoy a full range of activities. Even the mundane tasks can bring joy and a sense of accomplishment.

William Kendall said...

Wisely said, DJan.

Galen Pearl said...

Hey DJan, I sent you an email. Just want to be sure you got it. If not, please email me at galenpearl@gmail.com.

Glenda Beall said...

Wonderful news! Sounds like Smart Guy is determined to get past this. I love your love for each other and how this episode has heightened your goal of making each day count. We never know how many days we have with our loved ones and when we have to separate, we want to know we said and did all we could during out time together. Enjoy your week.

Dee said...

Dear DJan, thank you for sharing with all of us the good that came out of SG's stroke: your great gratitude for his being in your life and your realization that we have only this moment and so must live in the present and cherish it. You always do such beautiful writing about your life and this news gladdens all of us and helps us also be grateful and mindful.

You know, DJan, often when I read your postings, and especially with this one and the previous one about your husband having the stroke, I think of the scene in the book of Exodus where Moses, a young shepherd, is tending his flock in the desert and scrub area beyond Egypt. And he sees, in a copse of shrubs and saplings, a bush, burning yet not consuming itself.

Within him, a hush settles around his heart. He leans over and removes his sandals. For, as the scripture says, he realizes he is standing on holy ground. Then the God he believes in speaks to him of the meaning his life is to have.

Your sharing is for me "holy ground." And it seems to me that the well-spring of emotion you have described is evidence that you have stood in the past two or so weeks on holy ground, your sandals off, your heart open, your mind stilled to the moment. Peace.

Penny said...

I am so happy for you both, DJan...
Many other feelings - no words
Keep us current, please.

Penny

David M. Gascoigne, said...

I am saddened to hear of your husband's stroke. It is a cruel event for anyone to endure, and of course it generally happens when we are at an age where our entire body is not robust any longer, and we are unable to fight back as we might have done earlier in life. It is very good news that he seems to have recovered very well, and I hope he continues to make progress.