Farewell , dear Hedi

Me, SG, Rob, Lily (and Hedi's picture)

Yesterday, the four of us gathered at a favorite brewery and restaurant to give our own farewell to Hedi, and commiserate with one another about how much we'd give to know the circumstances of her death. Hedi's husband Dan is unwilling to tell anybody, and there will be no official public information, no obituary, nothing. He's not saying, and I guess everybody is entitled to their own grief process, but it's sure hard for those of us who would like to know more. She had just endured a long operation two days before, and it was her first day home from the hospital. 

All we know for sure is that she died not long after going to bed for the night. In an email, he said, "I helped her into bed and when I checked on her a few minutes later she was gone." Rob, a longtime friend who knows Dan's brother, said that he learned from him that there will indeed be no official notification, such as an obit, and that's what Hedi said she wanted. But that's so hard for us who are left behind, and I have a hard time not saying goodbye. So, we gathered to have our own little wake, and I brought my iPad and displayed a picture of Hedi with me and Lily at Hedi's birthday party in 2018. It helped me get some closure, and today I do feel that I can now let her rest in peace. I miss her and wish so much that I had gone over to see her last Thursday night, before she left us all for good. 

Hedi was a year younger than me, and she never let me forget it. We joked that we both had to make it at least until 2029, she even set a date (which I think was in May), but that is no longer something to look forward to. I still have a year and a half before I reach my 80th birthday, and I do hope I will be around to enjoy that milestone. But, as she has reminded me, nobody is guaranteed even one more day of life. She was very religious, and I hope that she is now at peace and sitting up there in heaven, smiling down at those of us still making our way through life, one day at a time. 

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Let's see: what else happened this week? Well, we had a gathering of all the Senior Trailblazers to begin to plan our summer hikes. It was incredibly well attended, and as usual we walked on the horse trails behind Lake Padden before sitting down to a potluck lunch. The only thing different this year was that we didn't all share food, but brought our own and some people brought a few items to share with everyone. I unfortunately ate three truffles that one guy brought from Trader Joe's. He said they had to disappear as he was unwilling to take them home. They were delicious chocolatey delights.

Since we were instructed that only fully vaccinated people were to attend the gathering, nobody wore masks, and we decided that we would begin to carpool once again. We also learned that the Senior Center that sponsors our hikes will open to the public at the end of June. We are allowed to park and leave our cars there now, so that's where we'll begin our excursions into the High Country, starting this coming Thursday, if enough snow is gone in order for us to get to the trailheads.

I'm hoping I still have what it takes to climb more than 3,000 feet to the meadow at Church Mountain. At least I am sure I won't be the slowest hiker, or the fastest. Almost everyone has found some way to keep in shape as we made our way through the pandemic shutdown, although it's been difficult to find endurance hikes that simulate a day climbing in the mountains. Hopefully I'll be able to continue gaining strength as we resume our usual summer schedule. I feel very fortunate to have adequate well-used knees that take the brunt of the downhill stress, and knee braces to help as well. Between the braces and my trekking poles, I feel ready to give it a go. I sure miss the views and the forests I've visited every summer for more than a decade, except for last year.

In any event, I have so much to be thankful for, that I need to take a moment to acknowledge all that exists in my life today that makes me happy. First and foremost, it is my dear life partner, who sleeps quietly next to me as I write this morning. That's his usual configuration when I create this post on Sunday mornings. I think he hears the tapping of the keys, but it's so much a part of his morning sounds that hopefully it is soothing to him. I can tell by the quality of his breathing that he's content right now, at least.

Secondly, I am grateful for my ability to get out and about as much as I desire, with an old but reliable car and a coffee shop that, while still closed to indoor gathering, has an outdoor seating area that allows me to drink my morning latte with my friend John (and sometimes my friend Gene) before beginning the rest of my day. I am able to get in my usual step count by walking to and from the bus, taking a side trip through a local park most days, and enjoy observing the passing of the seasons as I walk.

I am also grateful that the macular degeneration, from which I suffer, has not caused me to lose my ability to read and watch favorite shows. Although my eyesight is not what it once was, it is something I cherish and do what I can to keep it healthy for as long as possible. I am missing big areas of vision, in both eyes, but one eye compensates for the other, and my focal vision is still intact. All I have to do to notice how much I need both eyes is to cover one and observe what I can no longer see. While it's scary, it is also encouraging in some ways. I am grateful.

And you know that I also cherish my online community, of which you are part. I follow many blogs, and although sometimes I get behind and have to skip leaving a comment, in most cases I know that you look forward to my comments as much as I look forward to yours. We are truly a community of like-minded friends, which means so much to me, and it enriches my life in myriad ways.

Gratitude, like faith, is a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it grows, and the more power you have to use it on your behalf. If you do not practice gratefulness, its benefaction will go unnoticed, and your capacity to draw on its gifts will be diminished. To be grateful is to find blessings in everything. This is the most powerful attitude to adopt, for there are blessings in everything. —Alan Cohen

And with that quote, dear friends, I will leave you for another week, and hopefully when we get together again, you will have spent some time in gratitude for all the blessings you have. I know I will definitely try to find more blessings in my own life. Until we meet next, be well.