A special birthday and more

Squalicum Harbor yesterday

 Melanie and I walked more than five miles yesterday at one of our favorite places, the harbor, knowing that later in the day rain would return to our skies. But for the moment, we experienced dry conditions and enjoyed seeing the numerous boats moored in calm waters as we walked. In a few weeks, those plants in the foreground will begin to push forth new green shoots, and flowers will soon follow.

Today I will have a chance to spend the day with my favorite person, my life partner, my hubby, who sleeps next to me every day, but especially Sunday mornings when I write this post from the bed we share. He is now so accustomed to the sound of the keys tapping away that I don't believe he even hears it any more. Or maybe it makes it into his dreams, I don't know. I'm just glad he is still over there, after all these years together.

When we met thirty years ago, I would never have expected us to still be so happy together, but we are. We were both fifty, having reached the half-century mark at just about the time we first met on the internet. We were one of the first couples to have started our relationship electronically, and now it's commonplace. But it sure wasn't back then. There were no websites devoted to online matchmaking. We met because of a shared love of skydiving. I was actively pursuing the sport, and he was semi-retired from it by then. We began to correspond through email, and for months that was the only way we knew each other. I lived in Boulder, Colorado, and he lived in San Francisco. 

Finally, after several months, we decided to take the next step and actually talk to one another by phone. There were no cell phones yet, so we didn't have any way to see each other, which was probably a good thing. We did learn lots about each other as we spent so much time talking, and even though back then long-distance calls were pricey, we didn't care. That was the beginning of our love affair, and thirty years later, we are still happily sharing our lives with one another.

When we finally met in the airport in Denver, it was awkward, to say the least. It didn't bode well for a long relationship that these two fifty-year-olds stared at each other and all our long conversations were no longer relevant: here was the person in the flesh, and we didn't recognize each other and fall into one another's arms like you might expect. Instead, we had to learn how to integrate our dreams into the reality of the middle-aged persons we were. We had shared so much already, but none of it mattered as we found our way through that first visit.

Fortunately, skydiving was so much a part of our lives back then that it helped to smooth out some of the rough patches. He returned to San Francisco, and after I came to visit him there, we began to think about whether we had a future together or not. He was unhappy at his job and decided he would give notice and move to Boulder, and we would live apart while we figured out our next move. Those early days were tough, but we both had a feeling that we belonged together and were able to navigate the rough waters until we finally decided to move in together and get married. In freefall, of course. (That link takes you to a post I wrote for our silver anniversary and shows us in freefall.)

And today is SG's eightieth birthday. We were born in the same year, he at the beginning and me at the end nine months later, so he is testing the water of the ninth decade of life, and I will hopefully join him in December. We have shared so many laughs and tears over these thirty years together, and we will share our future years, months, or weeks together as well. No one knows what the future holds, but the one thing I do know is that we will face it together.

We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness and call it love: true love. —Robert Fulghum

I don't know how much longer we have on earth, but I do know that we will be together until the end of our days, supporting each other through whatever comes next. Who could ask for anything better?

* * * 

And before I leave today, I must spend a moment honoring the brave citizens of Ukraine, who fight for their right to live free, something that I take for granted. I woke this morning with my first thought to check the news, to see if Kyiv still stands and has not yet been occupied. (It does, for the moment at least.) The forces aligned against that country are massive, but they are determined and have done nothing but defend their sovereign right to govern themselves. I stand in solidarity with Ukraine.

May the Ukrainian flag fly forever

And with that, dear friends, I leave you and begin my day with my dear partner, enjoying our connection, as I also enjoy my virtual connection with you, dear virtual family. Be well until we meet again next week.