I stepped from Plank to Plank
A slow and cautious way
The Stars about my Head I felt
About my feet the Sea.

I knew not but the next
Would be my final inch -
This gave me that precarious Gait
Some call Experience.

Emily Dickinson, c. 1864

Sunday, September 3, 2023

Holiday weekend already


Fragrance Lake last Thursday

I took this picture during our hike last Thursday. The fog was moving in very fast, and I captured this quickly before (I thought) the fog would obscure everything. But it was gone as fast as it came in, and once others went over to snap a few shots, it was gone, just like that. I was pleased to have gotten this one. It looks almost black and white, but it's just what it looked like at that moment. I made no changes to it.

I find it amazing that it's already September, and that the unofficial end of summer has arrived. The days have grown much shorter, which I prefer, rather than the long endless daylight of midsummer. Fall is definitely my favorite season.

The group of hikers I've been usually joining lately will spend all four Thursdays in September traveling to the High Country. I hope to join them on a couple of them, but even though I really dislike the long drive to the trailhead, it's different in the fall, as the angle of the sun changes and moderates.
There is a harmony in autumn, and a luster in its sky, which through the summer is not heard or seen, as if it could not be, as if it had not been! —Percy Bysshe Shelley
Sometimes when I can't think of what I might write about, or concentrate on when I begin these Sunday posts, I go back in my blog and look at what I've said before that might have some bearing on the state of my mind at the moment. One thing has has been on my mind over the years is the understanding of our place in the universe.

I read a fascinating article in the New York Times about the massive upheaval taking place in the world of cosmology. Actually, since it's not possible to study the universe as it's all we know of reality, it bears relevance to all of consciousness. I've written in here before about how curious it is that quantum mechanics and cosmology are so closely aligned when it comes to conscious thought. The article (which I hope you can access through the paywall) tells us some of what the James Webb telescope has revealed and how our current understanding of reality just doesn't add up, if what we presently think about the origins of the universe are true. Is that exciting or what?

Not only that, but the Buddhist sage Thich Nhat Hahn, who died last year at the age of 95, and has written plenty of books and articles over the years, offers us a different idea of what birth and death really are:
Our greatest fear is that when we die we will become nothing. Many of us believe that our entire existence is only a life span beginning the moment we are born or conceived and ending the moment we die. We believe that we are born from nothing and when we die we become nothing. And so we are filled with fear of annihilation.

The Buddha has a very different understanding of our existence. It is the understanding that birth and death are notions. They are not real. The fact that we think they are true makes a powerful illusion that causes our suffering. The Buddha taught that there is no birth; there is no death; there is no coming; there is no going; there is no same; there is no different; there is no permanent self; there is no annihilation. We only think there is. When we understand that we cannot be destroyed, we are liberated from fear. It is a great relief. We can enjoy life and appreciate it in a new way.
Years ago I watched a movie with the premise that a young woman experienced an event that caused her to stop aging. Since the movie is still around, I rewatched it yesterday. The Age of Adaline, is available on Netflix and other streaming services as well. It's interesting to speculate what it would be like to stay the same age while all others around you continue to age naturally. In the movie, the woman's daughter grows up and ages and soon is much "older" than Adaline. Every decade Adaline changes her looks a little and moves to a different place in order to keep her secret. After eight decades of doing this, she has another episode where she returns to normal aging, and is allowed to continue her life as if nothing happened. But it is a reminder that our lives are not just who we are in a vacuum, and that we are connected to all those around us as well.

*  *  *

Today is the 33rd anniversary of my first skydive. Now that is an event that changed my life completely, in so many ways it was like I was given a brand new existence. I continued to enjoy my life, but in such a drastically different way. I spent every waking moment either thinking about skydiving, or actually doing it, and the only reason I kept my job is that I needed a way to pay for all those skydives and the instruction I received in the beginning. 

I met my dear husband through skydiving, and as he sleeps here next to me, I realize that we have a completely different understanding of everyday life because of our experiences in freefall. When you are feeling like you are flying (but really just plummeting towards the planet), it changes the way you feel about life. I was obsessed with it and thought I would never give it up. But as we all learn through decades of living, nothing stays the same. And after more than two decades of jumping from airplanes, I stopped and now look back affectionately at all those years I was an active skydiver, with lots of fondness and recollected joy.

After a skydive

Not to mention how all those years of being in freefall acted almost as a tonic for me, allowing me to continue to feel like a young kid again. Although I didn't make my first skydive until I was 47, it was like an elixir that kept me young. And I kept it up until I was in my seventies, and then when it stopped, I began to turn my attention to the natural world around me, and I've spent the next fifteen years hiking in all the wonderful areas in the Pacific Northwest.

And now I'm still doing it, feeling young enough that I can hardly believe that now I've turned eighty. It's like a joke or something, like a label I could simply peel off and return back to being young again. But there's no going back, only forward in time, unless we discover that time and space are truly just illusions that exist in our minds. Our world is changing every moment, and perhaps we'll find out that growing old is also not the only direction we can travel. Obviously you can tell that I love science fiction and speculation about other existences, but who knows? Maybe before I die, I'll find out that I actually have options about it. Not likely, but again, it's been thought of and speculated on throughout the ages.

I know that the person I am today is built on all that I've experienced previously, and that the body that I love and cherish is simply made of stardust and at some point will longingly decide to return. I'll be happy to take the next step in the beautiful dance of existence and see what's out there. I have certainly been blessed with a wonderful time here, but I know that life is all about change.

The one thing I know for sure is that my life is full and varied, and that my family and friends, both physical and virtual, surround me and fill my heart and soul with happiness. It's a wonderful life, every moment of it. Don't forget that, my dear friends, and remember that we can focus on whatever we wish in life, keeping ourselves and our loved ones surrounded with joy. Until we meet again next week, I wish you all good things.

12 comments:

Anvilcloud said...

I have heard of the movie. My friends have spoken very highly of it. I may have put it on a watchlist somewhere or other.

Rian said...

I love this post, DJan. "When we understand that we cannot be destroyed, we are liberated from fear. It is a great relief. We can enjoy life and appreciate it in a new way" I want to believe this... and choose to do so... with the attitude that if it isn't so, we won't care anyway. But it's a comforting thought.
"perhaps we'll find out that growing old is also not the only direction we can travel" I like this too. Maybe we're in for new adventures?
In my own mind, (and not based on religion, but my own inner knowledge - for whatever that's worth outside of myself) we were made and/or came into existence self aware (sentient) with emotions that were created by something that has these characteristics (made in an image?). Thus, to me whatever caused our existence has these same characteristics. This to me is proof that a God?? or Universal consciousness?? exists... and has love for His/It's creation.
Sorry, TMI. OK to think me crazy. I did really like the article too. Sent it to DH to read.

Marcia LaRue said...

I just turned 80 in August and can hardly wrap my brain 🧠 around that number! I wish I could do all the things I use to do, but life has certainly gotten in the way there!
I have been a believer for a long time of the idea we are not alone in this universe, as backed up by Ancient Aliens every Friday! I am a big fan!
I am really enjoying your blogs and especially the Sunday ones.

Elephant's Child said...

Yet another moving and thought provoking post to start my week on. Thank you dear friend. So much.

Gigi said...

That movie sounds interesting; I'll add it to the list of things I want to watch.

Marie Smith said...

I don’t understand what Buddha says about birth and death but it is fascinating for sure. That movie sounds like an interesting one as well. Food for thought, Jan. Have a great week.

Red said...

A few years ago, I read a creepy story about some one who didn't age and experienced all kinds of long ago people. You tie the two ends of this post together very nicely.

Rita said...

I read the article and I, too, am a person who has thought about these big questions since I was a girl. Have had near death experiences and an out-of-body experience so have not been afraid of leaving here. Have believed since I was little that there is more to my existence and all of our existence than just this one life here on earth. And suppose there isn't anything else--for how can we absolutely know--then why not do the best I can with this one singular gift. Everyone must choose between the dark and the light, or positive and negative energy, or good and evil, or whatever label we put on it. I choose to try to live on the positive, light, good side as much as I can...because it dang well feels better and brings me (and others) joy. That simple.

No matter what others or my health or events or nature does to me...it is my choice how I live with it or through it. The other choice is a weight my soul won't bear. I fell into it once for a year or so and it was a miserable place to live. In fact, I could find little point in living in darkness and fear and anger. I didn't even feel like myself. I made the choice. We each make the choice, whether we realize it or not.

This is why I love your Sunday posts, Jan. You always have a way or reminding me of my choices...of pondering the big picture with curiosity and an open mind. Thanks for sharing your open mind. :)

Linda Reeder said...

I'm pretty sure I saw that move a long time ago.
I'm not a science fiction buff and Buddha doesn't offer me much. I guess I'm to much of a realist, also some seem to be challenging our ideas of reality.
I have no problem with "becoming nothing" when I die. I believe we live on in those connections with others you talked about.

Far Side of Fifty said...

I watched The Age of Adeline again last week one day when it was very warm...it is a very interesting movie and I enjoyed it as it was very thought provoking!
I prefer to think when I die I will go to where I was before I was born and that is heaven! I have great hope that I will see all my dogs and all the people I love most in the world there:) It will be one big happy time...no more pain or sorrow...lovely thoughts:) Hope you have a wonderful week, it is very HOT here and may cool off Thursday smoke is coming back in tomorrow.

Linda Myers said...

What a great post! I love your Sunday writings.

William Kendall said...

Very well said!