I stepped from Plank to Plank
A slow and cautious way
The Stars about my Head I felt
About my feet the Sea.

I knew not but the next
Would be my final inch -
This gave me that precarious Gait
Some call Experience.

Emily Dickinson, c. 1864

Sunday, October 22, 2023

Golden days

Friend Don and me

Yesterday started out a bit on the weird side, as I got to the coffee shop before John. Friend Steve was already there, working on some tests he gave earlier this week in his chemistry class. Frankly, when I see the amount of work he puts in to teach this class, I just hope he is being adequately compensated. I don't ask since it's none of my business, but I do wonder.

I met Don on one of the Senior Trailblazer Tuesday outings awhile ago, and he joins us on Saturday mornings at the coffee shop to walk with Steve and me on occasion. Steve had other plans for the morning, so it was just Don and me who set out together. It was misty and overcast for the entire six-mile walk, but it didn't rain and the wind was also quite mild. So, it turned out to be very nice.

John never did show up at the coffee shop, but he finally called to say he had overslept and wasn't feeling well. He thought he should probably stay away from others until he figures out whether he's coming down with something or not. But it certainly felt weird when he didn't come. I guess I'm on edge with all that is going on in the world, and I felt that anything out of the ordinary was enough to cause me additional anxiety. Late last night, he called to tell me he definitely has Covid and will isolate until he tests negative. So no breakfast together this morning.

That said, once Don and I began our walk, it was a really lovely time to be out among the golden leaves of fall in the Pacific Northwest. A passerby took that picture of Don and me on the boardwalk at Boulevard Park. After the wonderful golden walk, we went to the Farmers' Market where Don treated me to a delicious marionberry scone. From there it was a short walk back to our cars, and I headed home to have a proper lunch and warm up. My spirits rose as I moved through the myriad golden leaves and gentle pathway along Bellingham Bay. There is nowhere else on earth I would rather be than right here, right now.
A human being would certainly not grow to be seventy or eighty years old if this longevity had no meaning for the species. The afternoon of human life must also have a significance of its own and cannot be merely a pitiful appendage to life's morning. —Carl Jung
There must be something I'm still intended to accomplish here on earth if I am still going strong as my eighty-first birthday approaches. What might qualify? Although it gives me pleasure to write these posts, and to read those written by my fellow bloggers around the world, it seems that I might be missing something about writing. Since I'm not getting any younger, it behooves me to explore that question with true resolve. Plus, the older one gets, the more one's options begin to diminish. That's perfectly normal, and probably one of the reasons that most people my age are not looking for direction. I've had my career, I've accomplished all the employment that I'm ever likely to have, and through my retirement annuities and Social Security, I've got enough income to maintain a modest lifestyle. It's the life of the mind that attracts me. And yes, I still have one of those.

In some cultures, the aged are respected and revered. But in our current situation here in America, that is not the case. Once you turn eighty, you are considered feeble and irrelevant. That might certainly be true of a percentage of elders, but so are many who are in their sixties and still active. And there are people a generation older than me who are still mentally sharp and maintain their mental acuity. There's no template that can measure what one might accomplish if given the chance, or given the desire to forge new pathways in one's consciousness. 

There are a few ways to consider my final years. I could keep on going in the direction I'm headed, riding the bus daily and walking with the Trailblazers, spending time reading and writing until infirmity forces me to stop. That's one, or how about deciding to volunteer at the Senior Center on a regular basis? That appeals to me because we have such a good one here in Bellingham, and I meet so many interesting people there. You can check out the activities it offers on their website here

Or maybe I should just wait and see what each day brings to me. When I think about where I was a year ago, much has changed and evolved in my daily life. I now spend some time each month hanging out with my friend Lily and (who would have guessed) bowling. I walk on Saturdays with my friends Steve and Don, and have joined a more moderate hiking group. All of that is much different than last year, when my activity revolved around my friend Melanie, who decided to move to Oregon.

One really positive thing about keeping this blog is being able to look back and see what I was doing a year ago, or even a decade ago. I volunteered for more than five years with a group that helps people make choices about their End of Life wishes and got certified as a facilitator and notary public. I enjoyed that work, but the group lost its funding and after several years, I decided to move on.

Of course, the huge effort I spent during the quarter-century of skydiving will never actually leave me, although it still amazes me that I have so little interest in the sport today. In the early nineties, every waking moment that I wasn't at work was spent thinking about when and where I would be skydiving next. I traveled a lot as I went to "boogies," where skydivers from all over the world would gather to jump out of novel aircraft and make big formations as well. But times change, and interests morph from one form to the next. It's natural. Perhaps it's also natural that I simply settle into my routine and let it gradually move into the next phase of life, without any need to direct it.

There are definitely guidelines that have appeared in my life, and I think if I adhere to them, all will be well. Spending as much time as possible every day in a state of loving kindness is essential. Also a few moments every day in meditation, and keeping myself active all help to ground me in the present moment. Plus spending some time every day interacting with my life partner, making sure we are connected and happy with our life together. We are, thankfully.

And yes, there is my extended family and friends, my digital family whom I visit every day through your posts and comments on mine. You feel as solid and permanent in my daily life as any other part. I worry about you, and celebrate your accomplishments, and love to feel your presence as I go about my day. Please keep yourselves safe and keep on blogging, dear friends. You have many admirers who look forward to finding out how you are doing today. Until we meet again next week, dear ones, I hope you can find yourself surrounded with love and joy. Be well.

14 comments:

Salty Pumpkin Studio said...

Beautiful post, lots to think about.

I'm stuck on the 6 mile walk. The corner up street feels puny compared to 6 miles. I need to up my game.
Maybe that's part of our purpose, to help others along their way being happier, healthier and comfortable with the stages of life.

Linda Reeder said...

I didn't walk miles yesterday, but I did spend hours on my feet, first in a beautiful Japanese garden in Seattle, and then in a big, busy pumpkin patch down in the valley. I was tired, but I enjoyed it all.
I had three appointment's this week and now there are more tests pending and more follow up appointments, as we tried to decide what's next for me physically.
I do feel like I'm lacking purpose lately, but I can still do some gardening. We are leaving this morning for an overnight at the Whidbey cabin to plant tulips and to a bit of garden clean up. I'll help a little. A change of scenery is always nice, and I am enjoying the autumn colors very much as we travel around the area going to appointments, and a little fun too.
Tom is very content to be home, work in our garden, explore more genealogy, and spend time keeping up with the news and politics. I think my purpose might be just to be here for him.
Thanks for another thoughtful post. Be happy.

Tabor said...

I also wonder if I cannot be more contributing as I age. Right now I ache too much from my fall to do much walking, but six miles is quite a jaunt and I admire YOU!!. YOur posts are always uplifting and I have been a bit down, so thanks!

Far Side of Fifty said...

Do you ever see Leo and his Dad? Just curious! Yes my daughter has so many papers to correct...hers are mainly online as that is how it they are submitted ...she teaches English Composition, Creative Writing, Speech and Women's Studies and sometimes a Humanities class. Kids always have papers due and she must correct them all:) I hope you have a wonderful week! We have snow in our forecast later this week...hope it doesn't stay long.

Elephant's Child said...

Thank you. Not only do bloggers become very dear to us, so do their friends and family. I hope John will be ok.
I am happy with my life's direction at the moment, and hope to be able to keep volunteering for some time yet. Your activity is inspirational too (and I am getting better on that front). Be well dear friend.

John's Island said...

After reading your post this morning I was really curious to click the link to see what other regular commenters had to say. Sally Pumpkin Studio had the perfect start, “Beautiful post, lots to think about.” Exactly! I truly enjoy the way recent Eye posts have been in such a reflective mode. “One really positive thing about keeping this blog is being able to look back and see what I was doing a year ago, or even a decade ago.” I so agree and experience that with my blog as well. “But times change, and interests morph from one form to the next.” Another thought about life that is true, without doubt. Last quote: “There must be something I'm still intended to accomplish here on earth if I am still going strong as my eighty-first birthday approaches. What might qualify?” Those words help me understand why I’ve followed Eye on the Edge for over a decade and still look forward to each new post. It’s funny … I almost feel like I know you better than many of my “real” (shall I say “non-virtual”?) friends. Thank you DJan. Have a great week ahead. John

Rita said...

You will find out what it is you want to do, I'm sure. Volunteering sounds very fulfilling. But your new routines are, too. Life changes and shifts over the years. Can feel like other lifetimes--lol!

I hope John will be okay. I am also invested and care about all of my blogger family. :)

Gigi said...

I'm so sorry to hear that John has COVID. I'm glad he thought to test; I'm hearing about a lot of "bad colds" and "respiratory viruses" and, of course, no one is bothering to test. I hope he will be on the mend soon.

As you note, our blogging friends and their families/friends are very dear to us and I think of you all as I go about my daily life.

Sending love. Have a great week!

Marie Smith said...

It amazes me how much one comes to care about fellow bloggers one meets through blogging. Our worlds and hearts open when we meet others through the written word. Have a great week, Jan.

Red said...

There are many different ways of keeping our head and body in the game. Certainly, maintaining relationships with people is important as well as keeping physically active. I think it's also different for different people. Have a good week.

Anvilcloud said...

You are doing so well at staying active and young. And you're mentally fit as well.

Linda Myers said...

I love your six-mile walks. My goal for the summer was to have my knee replaced and to rehab it. That has mostly been done. Yesterday I walked half a mile or so without any trekking poles or any pain. I do have to increase my stamina, though, so I'll be doing stairs and short hills for the next few weeks. My mind is still quite active and I spend a good amount of time in various volunteer activities. I canceled a Viking cruise just last week; we'd be leaving for Vienna on Thursday but I'm not yet ready for cobblestones and hills. We are getting vouchers for Viking travel next year.

gigi-hawaii said...

You are approaching your 81st birthday with ease and grace. God bless you. Enjoy your time with your hubby and friends, Djan. Time is precious.

Glenda Beall said...

Like you, I want to continue to do something worthwhile with my life in my last years on earth. I hate an idle life, feeling like I am just taking space. But I have health issues now that steal my energy and my motivation. I hope to begin another writing class on Zoom after Christmas or the new year. I might be in the middle of selling my house at that time, but I have had a couple of People who want me to teach again.I am pleased by those requests.

The past few years have been challenging and sad because I will be leaving the wonderful place where Barry and I enjoyed the best times of our marriage.
I have done some exploring of opportunities at the local Adult center here in the city.I want to take some classes and maybe teach writing there.