Last post of 2024

Me and Bestie Lily

I spent some time yesterday with my dear friend Lily, who is recently back from visiting her family in Guatemala. I was relieved when I knew she had returned safely, since she has told me it's not a very safe place for anybody these days. Of course, that can be said for most places on the planet, with new wars seemingly developing every day. But mostly, at least around here, our country feels mostly stable and we, at least, have warm and safe homes to enjoy. We don't take it for granted.

I have been trying for the last few years to get used to not only becoming older, but also becoming one of the oldest of the old. There is truly something different about finding myself in my eighties, and I've been trying to wrap my mind around what it is that's different. One obvious fact is that there are few new ages ahead of me to experience, ages that I can see in the change of my features and in the faces of others in their eighties and nineties. Wowie zowie, I'm there!

When I first started pondering on this aging business, I was reluctant to consider what it all means, and where I am actually headed as I move from one day, one year to the next. It's not a mystery; we are all going to grow old and die, and if we are lucky we will live a good long and healthy life. But it still ends up in the same place, and coming to terms with it has taken me awhile. But I'm getting there. Fortunately there are lots of people who have tread these same paths before me, and many have written exquisitely about the journey.

The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been. —Madeleine L'Engle

 When I look back on all the decades of life I've experienced, I can see many accomplishments that stand out and help to make me the person I am today. Neither of my parents lived this long, with Daddy dying of a heart attack at 62, and Mama as well, at the age of 69, almost 70. I have one aunt to made it into her nineties, but everyone else has died of heart disease, mostly. One sister, PJ, died at 63 in 2014, but my other siblings are still alive, busy living their "dashes" (the time between birth and death, as in 1942—?). I am also busy living mine, and enjoying some new wrinkles, both figuratively and literally speaking.

Delicious cup of chai tea

Last Thursday, both of the Senior Center hikes were canceled because of the projected onset of extremely high winds in the area, with Bellingham considered to be one of the more dangerous areas. It was eerie, the feeling that any moment the calm of the forest might just explode into a fifty-mile-an-hour windstorm. But the storm never came, and I spent my time anyway volunteering in the lunchroom, my now-usual Thursday activity. We volunteers worked as a team, very efficiently I might add, and I found myself thrilled to be part of such a well functioning group. And for once, I didn't forget any of my coffee drinkers as I went to find them once again. It's now becoming easier as I make sure I notice what someone is wearing and where exactly they are sitting as I fill their cup. Everything is a little easier as I learn the ropes and mentally work to maintain my equilibrium.

And I feel the weather is probably going to help me out, with the rain continuing but not the way it has been for the past few weeks. I decided yesterday that I didn't want to walk again in the rain, so I didn't. We had long moments of relative calm and even some sunshine yesterday, and my friend Lily and I took a short walk after our wonderful lunch. I came home feeling quite a bit better, more like the self I want to be, and not the grumpy old complaining oldster that sometimes takes over.

It really is true, life looks very different when I compare my mood when I'm smiling to when I'm frowning and not looking forward to better days ahead. We are into the winter months, and so far our temperatures have been very mild, so the rain that falls here in town turns into snow in the High Country, making for some happy skiers and snowboarders. I was a happy cross-country skier when I lived in Colorado, but here I turned into a hiker. I haven't missed skiing, surprisingly. That's another thing I notice about getting older: my passions have mellowed. Even the almost three decades I spent jumping out of airplanes seems like something I might continue to miss, but I was ready to stop, and that was a full a decade ago. 

I did something last week that I thought was behind me: I read a complete book! My sister suggested I read her latest find, The Paris Library, by Janet Skeslien Charles, so I downloaded the audio app on my phone and also put it onto my Kindle, which I have discovered in "low vision" mode makes it possible for me to read for quite awhile before my eyes get tired. I didn't even need the audio version this time, but now I have it for the coming books I intend to enjoy. I was so ready to believe that my vision was continuing to deteriorate at a fast rate, but I think the dreaded eye jabs are making a difference. Nobody knows for sure, because it only slows the progression, but so far I am optimistic, and now I have the possibility of listening to entire books as well. Another wonderful way to stay engaged and feeling happy. I found this quote from Mark Twain that sums it up perfectly:

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. —Mark Twain

Now that I am feeling better and my post is just about finished, I am also finding that my imagination is coming into focus and the world around me is looking good. My sweet partner still sleeps quietly next to me, and I am looking forward to breakfast with my friend John. Right now it's not raining, either! I hope you have a great week ahead, dear virtual family.  Hopefully I'll be here next week with a plethora of smiles. Until then, dear friends, be well.