Tired of it all

Lily captured this yesterday

In some ways, I feel like I've been wandering around in an endless cycle of distress and stress, with no way to get off and start finding happier times in my future. I know I am not alone in my desire to return to a better, more stable world. We are all, it seems, coping the best we can with whatever tools we have at our disposal.

I am eternally grateful for my family, both physical and virtual, because I know when I hear  from them, that I am not an outlier, that many of us are all having similar thoughts and trying to find some safe space where we can relax and enjoy life. And many of us are also dealing with the problems that come with growing old. The hard part for me is knowing that these little vicissitudes of life only travel in one direction. When I think of who I was a decade ago, I still remember what it felt like, and I know that in another decade (if I am still here), I will have lost more of my faculties; it's how the system works. We old people need to make room for the young to take over the planet, right? This tiny little place we call Earth is almost full to the brim, as we enter into the millennium with more than eight billion of us, living and breathing and hopefully leaving the place better than when we got here.

It's Sunday again, and I am finding it harder and harder to maintain my usual equanimity in this uncertain world. Trying to find ways to be happy becomes a task that I fail at more and more of the time. But I am still trying, and sometimes I even succeed in looking into the future with a hopeful smile. If I could choose my day's focus, it would be to find and share the love, not ugly anger and hopelessness. What good would that do? One dear friend reminded me that Martin Luther King once said that hate cannot be conquered with more hate; only love can do that. And it feels so much better to walk with love by my side than to allow hate to take over my heart.

Advice is like snow: the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. --Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Hoping to find inspiration, I went over to one of my favorite spots on the Internet, the Brainyquote website. This is the Quote of the Day, which seemed quite appropriate and even hopeful. And here I am, hopeful that the snow falling in the southern parts of our country is soft and clean, just like I want to see the beauty surrounding me, if I just look for it. During the day today, I will open my heart to each person I greet and give each one a dollop of kindness. And miraculously, I'll feel better, too. Funny how that works.

And, just because many of my loved ones are no longer here, I can still look at a picture of my son, smiling at the camera and looking like he's got a secret. Maybe I'll find out one day what it is. Until then, I'll keep on looking for ways to spread love and happiness in my little corner of the vast universe. I hope you will help me with that, since we all need to do our own small part to make the world a better place.

I wish you all good things and also much health and happiness, until we meet again, dear friends.