Love, loss, and laughter

Lake Padden in late January

Yesterday we ladies met at Lake Padden to take our two laps around together in the rain. I think the last several weeks we've dealt with either snow and cold weather, or rain and warmth. We haven't seen much of the sun lately, but I much prefer the warm weather to the ice and harsh winds. You can see we had low clouds and a little rain, but mostly it was pretty darn perfect.

I noticed that my friend Linda did not have her dog with her, and I learned that she had to put Riley to sleep this past week, as his liver cancer had progressed far enough to cause him to be in a lot of pain and with no further treatment possible. I loved that dog, too, and grieve for his loss. It seems like many of us are going through similar difficulties. A blogging friend just lost her brother-in-law to a quick cancer death, too, and she is grieving along with her sister. I have several other blogging friends who are dealing with loss, both of their own health, or with loved ones leaving us behind.

It's part of life. If you love (and we all do), you must sometimes be the one holding the memories of happier times, and sometimes it's us ourselves dealing with our own losses of health and mobility. The older I get, I keep thinking it will get easier, but it doesn't. We wish we could stay young, vibrant and healthy forever. It doesn't work that way. We wish our loved ones would never suffer, and that in a perfect world, none of us would ever die. But then there would be no room for the new ones, and all of life would be stagnant and much less precious. We all must join the progression from birth to death, living our own unique dashes (the time between these events) in the most authentic ways we can.

No one who has lived long enough to have gray hair and wrinkles has escaped the struggle of trying to find a way to both let go of our loved ones and holding on to our precious memories. The hole in our lives will eventually ease up, but we can never journey back to the same place we were before. The interesting thing about it all is that we still find ways to love as fully as ever, maybe even more so, because we have been reminded that these moments we have are priceless and only exist for a short while. I intend to make the most of every minute of every day, and that means taking stock every once in awhile and looking for the little nuggets of life that sustain me.

I have always felt that laughter in the face of reality is probably the finest sound there is and will last until the day when the game is called on account of darkness. In this world, a good time to laugh is any time you can. —Linda Ellerbee

Yes, that's one of my favorite ways to cope with life's ups and downs: laughter. When I'm feeling really down, I know that if I can find the humor in the situation or in anything at all, I'll feel better. A good book that takes me outside of myself, or a funny movie that gives me a belly laugh or two, is a balm to my spirit. And it's not even cheating, since laughing and crying are definitely preferable to shutting down and feeling nothing.

One thing I have learned is that whatever I might be experiencing right now won't last all that long. Whether it's being hungry, or being too full, that will change before too long. Whether it's being sad and angry, or being filled with mirth, these are all transient emotions that will change over short periods of time. That makes me feel a bit better when that old familiar squeeze of sadness touches my heart. I know that I will also be feeling its expansion in love and happiness before too long. It's sort of like the weather: wait awhile and it will change.

I am no stranger to either loss or abundance. Like most of us, the times I crave the most are those when I have my loved ones surrounding me, and we are all laughing together. Those periods in life that I can recall with immense fondness, even when those loved ones who have moved on, these memories are priceless treasures that I will enjoy for as long as I live. If this were my last day, I realize that I have been given so much that I could hardly ask for more in this life.

And with that, dear friends, I realize that I've written another early Sunday morning meditation that I hope will leave you with some joy. Remember that whatever you are going through right now, it's part of being a whole person, and that tomorrow will be different. And don't forget to give thanks for the ones you love, for they are always with you in your hearts. My dear partner sleeps quietly next to me, my tea is gone, and the coffee shop beckons. Until we meet again next week, I wish you all good things. Be well.