One week later

Whatcom Falls after lots of rain

After last week's embarrassing fiasco, losing my post and trying unsuccessfully to recover it, I've checked to make sure I am in the right place as I begin this morning's writing. Not that I have any confidence that whatever pours out of my noggin will be interesting, but here goes.

Yesterday Mel and I walked to Whatcom Falls Park and saw the most amazing roaring water coming over the falls. You could hear it a long ways away, with all the rain we got during the last two days: almost three inches. Then the skies cleared and it got cold enough yesterday for me to have to scrape ice off my car before heading out. Bundled up against the cold, we had a lovely walk and I captured this picture. I was sort of amazed when I studied it closely to discover there is a man photographing the falls from above. Do you see him? That is a very dangerous place to be, and a few people have lost their lives by slipping right there and being carried to the rocks below.

You can see that our fall colors are still around, but beginning to fade as we pass the halfway mark from fall into the winter months. The long-range forecast is for lots of wet and cold weather ahead, with La Niña making an appearance this year. But for us, it's a relatively mild winter anyway: most of the snow should stay in the High Country and spare us. Although I well remember a winter when we got as much snow as we expected in Colorado, it was still short-lived in comparison.

We'll see. In any event, I am happy to have a warm and cozy apartment to live in as we move through the seasons. I have finally grown accustomed to the 20% hike in rent, and I guess almost half of it will be covered by the increase in our Social Security. It's the only bright spot in the economy for me right now: we will get a 5.9% increase for 2022. Everything has become so much more expensive, and I suspect it's the same for our landlords, so I am reconciled to it. It's no different anywhere else in the region, so where could I move to avoid it?

It's Halloween, the last day of the month of October. It's been a good transition month around here, with the rain returning and the days shorter and colder. Soon we will return to Daylight Standard Time, and it will be very dark around here about the time people get off work. Fortunately I am retired and won't venture out much in the evenings. I've also got a head lamp that I use to see my path ahead in the dark, which I need right now in the mornings as I walk to the bus.

I got a call from John yesterday. He had the massive shoulder surgery accomplished last Thursday, and he's in quite a lot of pain right now and is sleeping a lot, eating very little, and just trying to get through these first few weeks. He says he didn't remember last year's surgery on the other shoulder being so painful, and I can only imagine what it must be like. The doctor said the surgery went well, but that the right shoulder was worse than the other one, so it makes sense that the rebuild was more extensive. His left shoulder no longer hurts and he has full mobility in it, so he's hoping that it will be the same in a few months. We sure miss him at the coffee shop. Everyone sends their best wishes for a speedy recovery.

I am still meditating every morning after I exercise for ten minutes on the front porch. This time right now is when I would normally be getting out of bed and starting my day, but Sundays are different because I write this post. Since there is no reason to rush to the coffee shop, with John not there, I'm going to add the meditation time after exercise, just as if it were any other morning. Hopefully it will help me get used to a regular time to meditation every day.

Mindfulness helps you go home to the present. And every time you go there and recognize a condition of happiness that you have, happiness comes. —Thich Nhat Hanh

It's interesting how much it has helped me with the stress of daily life. That, and I am definitely watching much less news than I once did. After all, I can learn everything that is going on within a short time on my favorite news channel and the internet; everything else is just commentary and repeat information. Sometimes I wonder if the news is designed to raise my anxiety level and make me worry more. That would be counterproductive for me, since worry is one of those aspects of thinking I don't need more of. I love to spend my time reading other people's blogs and sticking to books that are uplifting, rather than listening to more doom and gloom.

Plus it's that time of year when everybody seems to concentrate on scary stuff, and I don't find that good for me, or anyone at all. But everyone gets to live their own life; I won't try to fix them, or the universe, for all the good that would do. Trying to find peace, contentment and happiness in my own life is enough of a project for me.

And there are so many aspects of my life that I am grateful for. SG has had a bone marrow extract and a CT scan to try to discover the source of his low blood counts, but so far nothing seems especially scary. He's got no symptoms of lymphoma, which is what the doctor suspects, but from what I've read about it, he either has a very mild case or it's something else. He trusts his doctor and doesn't return for another visit for a few weeks, so in the meantime we are being hopeful that all will turn out well. Of course, this business of getting older means that we are all susceptible at some point to illness. 

Buddha's Five Remembrances help me to remember all this. Do you know them? Now that I am studying Buddhism, I remembered learning these five remembrances long ago. Maybe I should tape them to my bathroom mirror so I won't forget them.

1. I am of the nature to grow old; there is no way to escape growing old.
2. I am of the nature to have ill health; there is no way to escape having ill health.
3. I am of the nature to die; there is no way to escape death.
4. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.
5. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.

In some ways, this reminder is helpful to keep me grounded in truth and giving me plenty of reasons to give thanks for every day that I am alive and remain a healthy old woman. And every morning in my meditation, I end with a prayer that all living beings will one day be free from disease, pain, and suffering, that we will all eventually attain enlightenment.

Although I only sit for fifteen to twenty minutes, at the end of that time I am really surprised at how centered and grounded I feel. Just following my breath and keeping myself focused on the moment, letting any thoughts that come up pass through, like clouds passing by. And I find myself, after only a short few months of this, craving those moments of peace. That I can find anywhere at any time, if I just go within. I recommend giving it a try. You don't have anything to lose, and much to gain. But then again, everyone has a different path to wholeness. Forest bathing is one direction I love to go in my quest for serenity. 

And you know what? I've managed to finish this post and have every confidence that this week I will be able to publish it without any glitches. It was a good lesson last week to pay attention to what I'm doing and stay out of ruts. I do hope you will have a wonderful week ahead, and that all good things will come your way. My dear partner still sleeps next to me, breathing so quietly that I cannot hear him, but I know he's there. And life will continue to bring us all chances to spread joy and happiness to others. I wish you all the best. Be well until we meet again next week.