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| Fallen leaves |
What we all have in common is an appreciation of kindness and compassion; all the religions have this. Love. We all lean towards love. —Richard Gere
When I am feeling good and healthy, it's easy for me to feel lovingkindness towards others, but when I am grumpy or nursing a sore back, for example, it becomes much harder. Perhaps that is what I am trying to find in life these days: a way to be in a state where I can rise above it all and become a permanently compassionate person. Hmmm. There seems to be a disconnect here. Life doesn't work like that, at least not in my experience. It is easy for me to love those who already love me or that I see as good, but it's much harder when I come up against someone or something that really disgusts me.
But I also have to be kind to Yours Truly, and forgive myself for the shortcomings I see in myself every day. I guess it all boils down to my need to get away from my ego consciousness and learn to be more cosmic in my outlook. Sounds easy, but it's not at all. Every time I think I have "risen above" some small imperfection in my spiritual journey, it comes back in another form entirely. Take, for example, my need to give money to homeless people who are begging me for relief from their situation. I feel for them and reach into my pocket for a few dollars and then walk away feeling magnanimous. What have I actually done for them? Nothing. But I have given myself permission to feel virtuous for my generosity. Hmmm.
I ran across a phrase that won't let me go: idiot compassion. For compassion to be effective, we need to discover if our actions are going to be of real help and value or if they may actually be supporting an already unhealthy situation. According to a blog I discovered,
Developing lovingkindness and feeling compassion toward our fellow humans is one thing, while putting it into action is another matter. Without even trying, we cause suffering: we hurt ourselves, we hurt each other, we ignore each other's pain and create further pain. How do we stay open and loving in the midst of insult or conflict? Our caring and compassion are tested and challenged in every moment, every time we are tempted to ignore but choose to stay open instead. (Ed and Deb Shapiro)
Now this doesn't mean I will stop giving money to homeless people, but it does make me aware of the actual reason I do it. The number of people in the world today who are desperate is growing. I can barely force myself to watch the news these days, with so many wars and displaced people suffering so much. Was the world really like this fifty years ago and I was just not aware of it? Or has it become much worse? I can't remember seeing homeless people wandering the streets like today. It does make me sad and I fight against a sense of hopelessness.
So I sit quietly in my living room a few minutes a day to calm myself and follow my breath. I also write this blog, hoping for inspiration and that I might be able to give at least one other person a little bit of optimism. That comes from my desire, a true one, to provide love and caring to others. The most effective way I have discovered, so far, is to be kind to myself and forgive those who don't see things my way. I am old enough to be looking out my eyes from a spirit that wants to change from despair to lovingkindness. Adding benefit to the world around me, rather than making things worse: that's my goal.
That said, I also must remember to give thanks for all that I have: a warm and dry place to live; a partner who loves me and whom I love very much; the ability to walk and play outside with good rain gear; friends and family who support me in ways I don't even know; enough nourishing food to eat every day. So very many people in the world don't have even one of those things I take for granted.
I will leave you with a favorite Buddhist mantra: Om Mani Padme Hum. Known as the Compassion Mantra, or the Jewel in the Lotus, this is a powerful Buddhist prayer. This mantra is a tool to train the mind to achieve ultimate peace and enjoyment. The mind dictates our experience of happiness and sadness, so we must learn to control our mind.
I would like to remind you to be kind to yourself, as well as others. This is something I am working on these days. Until we meet again next week, dear friends of my heart, I wish you all good things. Be well.
17 comments:
Kindness is a struggle for me, admittedly.
Lovingkindness - perhaps that's what we're all striving for - and perhaps this pandemic (and other world problems) will lead us to this?? This may be a naive thought, but this is one of the things that made me think that maybe things are happening just as they are supposed to... giving us the opportunity to get off the crazy whirlwind of life and stop and think about what the world needs - more loving kindness.
And yes, we must be kind to ourselves too... and forgive us our weakness/humanity. We aren't perfect and never will be (not that we shouldn't strive to be better). I pass by people who have signs for help too - but generally say a prayer for them and wonder if that's too simplistic. Would money help? Possibly and possibly not. Should I even think about that or just give and not worry if it actually helps? I don't know. Homelessness is a real problem and needs to be addressed ASAP.
I have been trying to meditate. Working on getting my 'monkey mind' to stay on track. It goes off on a tangent quite frequently, but I'm learning to bring it back...
Thank you.
Food for thought.
I try to be kind - but struggle when it comes to self kindness. So much. Yet again I am a work in progress.
I believe in the power of kindness.
"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." Simple yet profound. We need to keep that in the forefront of our emotions. Sometimes we can get bogged down by the cruelties of the world but we still can govern our own actions.
It's almost sickeningly warm outside right now. And I hear some wind. :( I think circumstances were worse in the past, but we didn't know about them. They weren't in our face 24/7. However, it seems like people were kinder and more understanding. Or they pretended to be. Etiquette and good manners mattered at least on the surface.
Love is patient, love is kind. 1 Corinthians 3 something...
It has been a hard week, the time change seemed to irritate a few people I know and they were less kind.
News reports are a blessing and a curse, years ago the news travelled slowly now it is instantaneous...and the News Reporters have to put the worst/best spin on it to gain more viewers/readers.
Be kind when you can be and maybe it will be passed on to someone else:)
I guess that is something I should work on. It is so easy to criticize others while praising yourself. I must be a kinder person that is for sure.
Kindness to all, including self, is a struggle indeed. You are on an interesting journey! I admire your quest for personal growth.
I'm pretty sure that the only altruistic thing I do is give blood. For everything else, I get more than I give.
Spreading lovingkindness is sharing a sacred gift. Spreading positives. Saying thank you. Making someone smile. They are precious free gifts to both the giver and receiver.
Always harder to love the cruel and unloveable--lol! I have to remind myself that the angry, selfish, nasty folk are the most frightened.
You are doing your part by bringing up and discussing lovingkindness. Sometimes we have to make people stop and consider life. Homelessness? I think we've always had homelessness. We handles it in a different way. We had large institutions for treating mental health. Our prisons were home to many homeless. Homeless people today, are more visible. Maybe there are more homeless. The definition of homeless keeps moving. After all that homelessness is major problem.
I helped my daughter to buy a new iWatch recently to replace the one that decided to stop working, It was of great use to her in her work, so I wanted to help. She was reluctant to accept, but I told her I was being selfish because it made me feel good to do it. But of course, that is only half of it. The other half is genuinely wanting to help. We are human and can feel two things at once.
Sue has a saying: "Always be kinder than you need to be." She does this pretty well, but it gets harder for me when there are so many willfully belligerent and ignorant fools out there these days.
and I thank you.
I needed that this morning
DJan, Eye on the Edge has been, for several years, my blog to follow for aging gracefully. :-) In your recent posts, I seem to note a new direction … a little more toward the spiritual realm. I like that a lot … I’m moving in that same direction. In this post you focused on kindness. After reading, the first word that came to mind … Karma. What goes around, comes around. That is certainly my experience with kindness. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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