It has been so long since I wrote here, and in the meantime they have changed some things, so I will try to get something in here for my followers to know that I am still alive. Not kicking exactly, but I am not spending all my waking hours crying. At first, that was all I could manage. But it has been six weeks today since SG died. I miss him terribly but this is what all of us mortals must endure, until it is our time to leave. Every one dies, some early and some last, but unless we die young, we all go through this suffering and pain.
My guy and I discussed this in the past, and we agreed that I could go first. But the Universe had other plans and wasn't listening, I guess. I can still end up in a blubber of tears at a moment's notice, but now I spend less and less time in that situation When I lost my first son when I was 22, I took almost a decade to recover. Now I don't think I've got another decade to spare, I hope at least. I'm beginning to think that life after eighty is filled with sadness and loss, but at my current age of 83, I might actually recover and find love again. I will never stop loving My Guy, never, but perhaps I have another purpose here that will emerge in the fullness of time.
Unfortunately, my eyes intone to detiorate,so writing has braver difficult and frustrating and causes me to enjoy it less and less. But I have so many wonde4rful friends and relative who will help me get through this and once I gain some per-dive, I'll l46 you know. Maybe even post a picture or two. Eventual, dear friends.
I hope you are doing well
and look forward to better days ahead.
DJan
4 comments:
Glad to hear from you. I’ve been thinking about you and wondering how you’re doing.
Enjoy our sunny day. Linda P.
Here for you. Prayers. For blogging, try a voice program that types what you say. That way all you have to do is edit to correct any mistakes taking care not to read too fast lest you roll over a mistake.
Grief management has issues of its own that can take too much control over our lives. Be good to yourself, embrace how delicate you are and cry whenever you feel like it.
May
Thank you dear friend for posting on your blog today. I have been thinking of an praying for you every day. My sister was widowed about the same time as you...one day at a time. May your sweet memories help you through the really hard times!
DJan - so good to hear from you. I've been thinking of you and sending lots of love your way. As you already, sadly, know - grief is hard and takes time. Take that time and treat yourself gently. xo
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