Friends of my heart

Fearsome foursome

This picture was taken (a group selfie) on Christmas Day when the coffee shop was closed. They are some of my dearest friends now, and sometimes I wonder just how it all happened. I've known Gene the longest, him of the Santa beard. He was at the coffee shop when I first went there almost a dozen years ago now. Lily and John I've known for a lesser amount of time, but they are just as precious to me. These are friends of my heart, family in almost every way.

Lily has been going through an exceptionally hard time in her life. She left this week to travel home to Guatemala to be with her mother, who faces an uncertain future. Her mother survived esophageal cancer twelve years ago, and now it's returned after all this time. Her mother doesn't want to go through another bout of treatment. Lily took leave from her job and spent a long day of three separate flights to get there. She should have arrived yesterday, but I haven't heard from her yet.

Gene drove her to the airport in Vancouver, Canada, because the flights are much cheaper from there, versus Seattle, even though she flew on an American carrier. Gene was willing to get up at 4:00am and head across the border to get her to the airport. I offered, but Lily knew I have never been to that airport before, and she worried I might get lost. Better to have Gene do it, since he's very familiar with the area. Gene turned up at the coffee shop before 8:00am, and he said they had no problems crossing the border. I do hope she will have no problem on the return, since she only has a green card and being from Central America these days, there is no guarantee that they will let her back in.

Last week John had a biopsy of his prostate, since his PSA numbers had recently spiked. He told me the doctor called him in the evening to tell him the bad news: he does have prostate cancer. His father died of the disease in his fifties, and both of his younger brothers have developed it. Apparently there are different severities of the cancer, and he has a more aggressive form of it, so he will need some sort of treatment. I was very upset by the news, but he took it in stride. I think I slept more poorly worrying about him than he did! Not that worry ever makes anything better, but some of us can't help it. I'm a world class worrier.

That the birds of worry and care fly over your head, this you cannot change, but that they build nests in your hair, this you can prevent. —Chinese Proverb

Yeah, right. I've got nests in my nests. I've struggled with worry, trying to find ways to cope with it, but so far I've been unsuccessful. I think if you let yourself love freely, you care very much about the lives of your friends and family. And as we get older, things happen to each of us that must be dealt with. It's the way life works, and the only way I've found not to worry is not to let myself care and look away from the difficulties they face. But that is a lonely and hard path to follow, I find. It's better just to let the nests build up in my hair. And keep my hair cut short.

What surprises me the most is that these people have become so dear to me, and they were just people hanging out at the coffee shop along with me. Gene brought John there one day, because he knew that John was lonely and needed some companionship. I didn't like John at all when I first met him, because he had the look of a conservative old redneck farmer, and I judged him. I could not have been more wrong in my assessment, and I've learned that looks can be deceiving. John is thoughtful, intellectually curious, and even more of a liberal than I am! And I've been the recipient of his kindness many, many times. I count him as one my favorite people. So I'll worry about him until we get this disease under control.

Lily is the only one of the group who is still in her working years. She is also going through a divorce, which will be finalized when she returns. She has the final court date in early March, and we'll celebrate when it happens. Lily used to live in our apartment complex, but now she's across town from me, so I don't see her as often as I once did, but we get together at least once a week. She goes on the Saturday morning walks with the ladies, and then she and I go out to breakfast afterwards. I already miss her presence and look forward to her eventual return. She's got a lot to deal with right now, so I won't bother her with my worries. I'll just keep them to myself for now.

For the moment (and really, that is all we have), things seem to be going pretty well at home with my dear partner. Yesterday we let go of our Verizon account for our iPhones and went to Consumer Cellular. There are a few glitches, but so far it seems to be working pretty well. I am happy that our phone bill will be reduced significantly, and that our coverage will increase. SG did all the research ahead of time, so we had all the passwords and account numbers to facilitate the process when we went to the store to purchase new SIM cards for our current phones. The tech person did all the work for us, which was really helpful. I didn't even know you could do that without buying new phones. But then again, I'm just not very tech-savvy.

Well, that's what's been on my mind this past week. A rather eventful one, but really not unusual for someone of my advanced years. As I get older, I find myself being more and more grateful for the life we've created for ourselves in our retirement. We have friends who care about us, and as we move through the weeks and months without any major health concerns of our own, I am indeed filled with love and gratitude for all our blessings. The ability to write, read, ponder and share, are all things I take for granted most of the time. It's important to stop and look around, taking stock of my wonderful life, and say THANK YOU to the Powers That Be for it all. Until we meet again next week, I wish you, my dear readers, all good things. Be well.